Psycho-Cybernetics – The Pathway to Confidence and Inner Peace

21 Social Anxiety Quotes to Help You Feel Motivated to Seize the Day

Try remembering some of social anxiety quotes which you can refer to whenever you need some motivation and to lighten your mood

Ever have those day’s when you wake up the following morning feeling completely blanked out and lethargic? I felt like that this morning, probably because it’s a Monday. I just didn’t want to get up, and just lay there on my bed staring at the ceiling. My mind was telling me to get up to start my day but I couldn’t seem to escape the feeling of being tied to my bed.

I think it was because I was lacking the motivation, and my social anxiety was acting up again. In any case, I decided to look up some uplifting social anxiety quotes to help find some energy and focus.

I often avoided social interactions growing up, I felt awkward whenever I needed to introduce myself to someone or my sisters introduced their new friends to me. I kept on thinking how come I feel these weird uncomfortable feelings over and over again? When I am in doubt of myself and anxious of what people might think of me, I always remember these few lines from the poem Desiderata:

“If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater & lesser persons that yourself.” “Speak your TRUTH QUIETLY & CLEARLY, and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant, they too have their story.”

If you are having self-doubt and want to lift your spirits and feel more positive, try using some of these social anxiety quotes to help lighten you up and inspire you to approach the day in a new light.

Social Anxiety Quotes

1. “All too frequently, anxiety crushes not only your spirit and your potential, but your ability to take care of your mind and body.” ~Jonathan Davidson and Henry Dreher, The Anxiety Book: Developing Strength in the Face of Fear.

2. “Worry, doubt, fear and despair are the enemies which slowly bring us down to the ground and turn us to dust before we die.” ~Attributed to Douglas MacArthur

3. “Do not be afraid of tomorrow, for God is already there.” ~Author Unknown

4. “Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.” ~Author Unknown

5. “We experience moments absolutely free from worry. These brief respites are called panic.” ~Cullen Hightower

6. “Worry is a complete cycle of inefficient thought revolving about a pivot of fear.” ~Author Unknown

7 “To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another.” ~Katherine Paterson, Jacob Have I Loved

8. “Once you become self-conscious, there is no end to it; once you start to doubt, there is no room for anything else.” ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

9. “Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people.” ~André Dubus

10. “The shy and the extroverted have this in common — that they both fancy they are the center of attention.” ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com

11. “When I am anxious it is because I am living in the future. When I am depressed it is because I am living in the past.” ~Author Unknown

12. “Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice. Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

13. “If you can’t sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It’s the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep.” ~Dale Carnegie

14. “If one is forever cautious, can one remain a human being?” ~Aleksander Solzhenitsyn

15. “Real difficulties can be overcome, it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.” ~Theodore N. Vail

16. “People gather bundles of sticks to build bridges they never cross.” ~Author Unknown

17. “Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere.” ~Glenn Turner

18. “There are two days in the week about which and upon which I never worry… Yesterday and Tomorrow.” ~Robert Jones Burdette

19. “If a man harbors any sort of fear, it percolates through all thinking, damages his personality and makes him a landlord to a ghost.” ~Lloyd Douglas

20. “Other people’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.” ~Les Brown

21. “You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You’re on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.”
~Dr. Seuss

 

Originally posted 2014-12-01 10:04:41. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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Getting Over Social Anxiety – 5 Healthy Habits

Are you tired of always worrying, feeling uneasy when trap in social situations and getting nauseous and agitated for no apparent reason at all? I know what it feels like to have social anxiety because I was living with all these excessive uneasiness ad apprehension all my life. Until I woke up one day and decided that I needed to find a way of getting over social anxiety for good. I needed to do something different to drive my life into a new direction, I wanted to try something exciting and challenging that I know I get scared of doing before. I hate that feeling of having no grip on everything that’s happening in my life.

I always set goals for myself but there are some things that hinder me from doing what I am suppose to do. There are so many “What If’s” in my head until I decided to set my mind to pursue them no matter how much it would cost me. That was the time that I realizes that not finding a way of getting over social anxiety was  holding me back from living a fulfilling life.

Getting over social anxiety is not easy, however if you follow these simple habits then maybe you’ll get a chance of taking control of your life?

Getting Over Social Anxiety Tip 1. Acknowledge your Social Anxiety

This is the first step and perhaps the most important step to overcoming anxiety. Do not pretend it’s not there, by acknowledging it you are opening yourself to an opportunity for treatment. Accept that you are suffering from anxiety and you need help. Share your anxious feelings with your loved ones, family, friends and relatives. You can also seek for a professional help to guide you on what you are going through.

Getting Over Social Anxiety Tip  2. Learn some simple steps on how to deal with your Anxiety Symptoms

After your acceptance, it is time to make an action plan on how to cope up with your anxiety. There are a lot of step by step processes online on how to manage your anxiety. The National Institute of Anxiety and Stress has also made a downloadable audio and workbook exercises that would help you on how to deal with anxiety symptoms quickly, using a simple three-step formula to stop intense anxiety and a guide on what you need to do when you are having a panic attack. These easy to follow steps can be found here: http://ift.tt/1NQcLbp

Getting Over Social Anxiety Tip 3. Use “Power” Language

Words is a powerful tool and when you use it the right way it cannot only change one person’s perspective but can be a big influence to those people around you. Most people who have anxiety disorder are fond of using negative words that can destroy their self confidence. They always see themselves as victim and a few negative words that can be heard from them include; can’t, always, never, and should.
Learn how to beat anxiety by changing these negative words into “power” language. Power language is words that boost your self-esteem and personal power. Instead of saying “I can’t control my anxiety” you can change it to power language and it will become like “I can control my anxiety, and I’m learning skills to conquer it.” Practice this daily and you will be amazed how it can change your life for the better.

Getting Over Social Anxiety Tip 4. Tone your Inner Power Daily

Just like what the popular adage say, “Practice makes perfect” Practicing a healthy life strategy everyday would eventually increase your capability to overpower your anxiety. Start doing today what you couldn’t do yesterday, make this a habit and it will eventually become automatic. This is how you create lasting freedom from anxiety.

Getting Over Social Anxiety Tip 5. Finally get into a realization that “Now” is the perfect time to start feeling better.

Don’t wait another day to start a change in your life. The thing is, if you always postpone change would never happen. Don’t make excuses, if you can’t tackle your anxiety right now then when? There is no such thing as a “perfect time” you will end up waiting a lifetime for changes to happen.

Originally posted 2014-11-29 12:39:47. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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Review Shyness and Social Anxiety System

In this post I review the Shyness and Social Anxiety system. Can it help? How does it work?

The Shyness and Social Anxiety System is a social phobia support program created by Sean Cooper, an ex-sufferer of social anxiety and shyness.

Comprising of three eBooks and a private member’s support group, Sean’s system provides a guide to the latest thinking on what causes social anxiety and the techniques he developed to overcome it and live a more fulfilling life.

There’s no shortage of books and websites that already cover the principles of what causes social anxiety and how it can be treated. And most of them are, quite frankly, cheaper than Sean’s $29 system.

So is the investment worth it?

Does it offer anything new that can knock aside the social phobia barrier that’s blocking your enjoyment of life?

Or does it cover the same advice you can find elsewhere for less money?

Let’s find out…

What does the Shyness and Social Anxiety System cover?

The main 113 page eBook in the Shyness and Social Anxiety System takes a pragmatic approach to overcoming social phobia.

Rather than dwell on the past and allow excuses for avoiding human interaction, it focuses on practical steps you can take to improve your social skills and life.

The first section discusses why social anxiety (in most instances) is a ‘learned behaviour’ driven by an extreme fear of people’s disapproval. While genetics and childhood environment can play a part, Sean focuses on how it isn’t  a condition you’re automatically born with or a physical problem that can only be numbed/treated with medication.

As it’s a condition that’s learned, Sean explains how it can be unlearned.

How does Sean’s system help you to overcome social anxiety?

The cornerstone of overcoming social anxiety (in both my own and Sean’s opinion) is raising self esteem and changing your mindset.

I remember that when I discovered that it was negative, inaccurate thoughts that were driving my social phobia it was like someone switching on the light. It gave me a vision of a way out of feeling isolated and uncomfortable all the time.

Hiding away at home and avoiding people isn’t the answer. Instead Sean’s answer is to embrace the fear that drives social anxiety, rather than run away from them. I know this sounds daunting, but Sean explains it really is the only long-term way – unless you want to spend your life on medication and the numbness that goes with it.

However, Sean doesn’t simply push you out the door and wish you the best. He outlines the techniques he used to respond to the uncomfortable physical and mental symptoms of social anxiety, such as muscle relaxation, acceptance of the problem and allowing yourself the flexibility to make mistakes.

The third part of the book focuses on how to correct what, most likely, is driving your social anxiety in the first place: an inaccurate value system and a low sense of self worth. Sean studies in-depth the reasons why your value system might be out of sync, such as basing your value system on comparisons with other people and why social anxiety, for many people, is driven by a feeling that you’re hiding a big secret which will cause people to reject you.

Does it cover anything new?

If you’ve already been reading up on social anxiety, been seeing a therapist or taken a cognitive behavioral therapy course then a lot of these principles probably sound familiar. And that’s not really surprising because we’re not walking around blindly grasping for explanations on what causes social anxiety.

It affects millions of people around the world; it has been well researched and studied by clinical behavioral psychologists. We know why it happens and how to treat it.

However, what Sean’s book does do is offer a down practical advice on overcoming it. He writes in a friendly conversational tone that’s motivating and gets across the feeling that he’s there with you encouraging you to take the steps to deal with it.

His approach of facing the fear and rewiring your brain, rather than relying on short-term coping strategies, is also a more ballsy and (in my opinion) effective approach then you might find elsewhere.

In addition, Sean goes beyond simply explaining how to feel more comfortable in social situations. He goes on to explain the steps you need to take to become more spontaneous and to speak without thinking (rather than mentally having to clear everything before you say it).

This goes beyond the advice I’ve found elsewhere and can take you to a more advanced level of recovery.

What about the bonus eBooks?

In addition to the core eBook, you also get ‘What to Say Next’ and ‘Social Circle from Scratch’.

‘What to Say Next’  provides guidance on how to get better at what everyone with social anxiety struggles with: conversation. Sean explains how you can grow your conversational muscles through his ‘conversation thread technique’  which trains you to know how to respond to the things people say. The aim is that it enables you to become more immersed in subjects and conversation becomes natural as a result.

The ‘Social Circle from Scratch’ eBook outlines the tactics and techniques Sean developed for growing his social network. If you’ve been suffering from social anxiety for a long time then you might find yourself isolated and stuck at home wondering whether you’ll ever be able to enjoy the active life everyone else seems to lead. Sean explains how it can be done, through techniques such as getting on people’s social radar, ways of meeting people and how to strike up conversations.

Sean also drives home the importance of taking action. Staying at home feeling miserable is not going to help you. Taking steps, no matter how small, towards being more socially active is the only way.

I found both of the bonus eBooks to be very informative. They both covered principles I hadn’t read elsewhere and offer real, practical advice on the steps to take if you want to overcome your social anxiety and live a more fulfilling life.

So is the Shyness and Social Anxiety System worth the money?

I think deciding whether the Shyness and Social Anxiety System is worth buying really depends on where you are in your recovery.

If you’ve already read some books on social anxiety (e.g. Feeling Good by Dr David Burns or Overcoming Social Anxiety by Gillian Butler) then many of the principles in the first half of the main eBook wont be anything new.

However, Sean’s focus on facing the fear is an approach I’d recommend over the coping techniques covered in other books. I also think his conversational, easy to read style and the eBooks’ relatively short length will be more appealing to someone who’s just started on their road to  recovery and would like to understand the condition and what to do about it within an afternoon’s reading.

Conclusion

If you’re suffering from severe social anxiety, and struggle to even get out of the house, then you should get professional help, whether it’s a doctor or a therapist.

But in more moderate cases where you’re struggling with social interaction, suffer from the physical nervousness or want to stop feeling that you’re ‘being watched’ all the time then Sean’s system is certainly worth a look.

$29 might sound like a lot, but if it saves you the time of piecing everything together yourself from around the internet, or the thought of reading a 300 page book sounds daunting, then Sean’s system is a good option. He also offers a 60 day money back guarantee, so if you’re not happy with the Shyness and Social Anxiety System then you can always get your money back.

Disclaimer – The links in this article are affiliate links. That means I earn commission for any sales of Sean’s system referred through this site. As an ex-sufferer, I hope you can trust in the fact that this is an honest review based on actually reading the books and judging how their information compares to my own experiences and research. But if you prefer, this is a non affiliated link to his website:  

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Originally posted 2013-01-13 17:48:16. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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UK School Kids Given Lessons on How to Be Happy

You feel the way that you think, and now UK school children are being taught how to think more positively to help them cope with the stresses of teenage life. Initially, 1500 11-year olds from 22 schools are being given lessons on how to assess situations objectively, how to be assertive and many other skills that can help them cope better with emotionally difficult situations. If the scheme is a success then it could be expanded into class rooms on a national scale.

The scheme uses lessons taught in the USA by the Penn Resiliency Program, based in Philadelphia, which adopts tried and tested cognitive behavioural therapy techniques to ‘detect inaccurate thoughts, to evaluate the accuracy of those thoughts, and to challenge negative beliefs by considering alternative interpretations’.

Teaching children cognitive behavioural therapy could help them avoid problems later on in life

Whilst some might remember their school days with fond memories, childhood can be a difficult period because of peer pressure, the desire to fit in and having to cope with all the struggles of teenage life.

Psychotherapists believe that it’s during childhood that you form your belief system: opinions on yourself, other people and the world around you. Upsetting childhood experiences, such as being neglected or bullied, can lead to problems later on in life because of the negative associations you attach to similar situations.

So equipping impressionable school children with the skills to identify inaccurate, unhelpful thoughts and then to replace them with healthier, happier ways of thinking could prove invaluable in helping them grow into secure, confident adults.

Treatment for anxiety and depression is a global issue

In a 2006 international survey UK children ranked bottom for happiness and well being. Some blame celebrity culture, with its focus on money and possessions, for giving children an unhelpful value system (although the problem is far more complicated than a single root cause). However, teaching them how to feel confident and secure, without needing the latest designer clobber or the approval of others, could be coming at just the right time.

Awareness on the effectiveness of cognitive behavioural therapy, for treating anxiety and depression, is spreading all the time. The UK’s ‘happiness tsar’ Professor Richard Layard even believes it could help people living on benefits to get back to work.

With depression the world’s biggest mental health problem, teaching more people cognitive behavioural therapy (whether self taught, with a therapist or in a group) could make a positive impact on not just on the lives of children but society in general.

Originally posted 2008-09-08 17:02:59. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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Should You Try Social Anxiety Medication? 5 Things to Consider

If you suffer from social anxiety then the lure of a magic pill that can make your fears and worries vanish is highly appealing. And social anxiety medication does actually exist.

There are a variety of medications that are available to cure anxiety disorders, including but not limited to traditional anti-anxiety drugs such as benzodiazepines, antidepressants and beta-blockers. But before taking any kind of medication, you must first consider the fact that medication cannot cure anxiety entirely or over the long-term.

Social anxiety medication is at it’s most beneficial when combined with cognitive-behavioral therapy to address the underlying thoughts driving social phobia. This is because social anxiety medication can offer temporary relief to the symptoms so that it’s easier to put the principles of cognitive behavioural therapy into practice when trying to overcome social anxiety disorder.

Side effects of social anxiety medication

Just like any other over the counter drugs, antidepressants and other social anxiety drugs have their own share of side effects. These drugs are not safe for everyone even when used with precautions. They can lead to complications when combined with other substances, especially when you are using them for a long period of time. That’s why it is important to weigh carefully the pros and cons before taking any social anxiety medication, which must only ever be taken after speaking to a doctor and getting a prescription.

If you think you are considering taking medication for social anxiety disorder then there are five things to think about:

1. Be patient. The effects of anxiety medications is gradual, it would take time until you can feel their full therapeutic effect. It can often takes time and patience to find the drugs that works best for you so you will have to work closely with your doctor to find the right dosage and evaluate its effectiveness.

2. Avoid Alcohol. Avoid dangerous drugs interaction, do not mix alcohol with any anxiety medications. The after effect is lethal, even in less toxic doses it can cause poor coordination and impaired thinking, increasing the risk of motor vehicle incidents and other injuries.

3. Monitor your medication response. Everyone has varying reactions to medications that’s why it is important to keep a record of your reaction to your anxiety medication, these includes the physical and emotional changes that you are experiencing after taking the medication. Do not drive or operate heavy machinery if you are taking benzodiazepines like Valium, Xanax and et al., wait until you know how the drugs affect you. Always remember that your doctor has prescribed this medication because he or she has weighed the benefit to you is greater that the risk of side effects.

4. Talk to your doctor. Be open and honest about side effects your anxiety drug is causing. Don’t be afraid to discuss problems or concerns. And while you should never stop your anxiety medication without talking to your doctor first, ultimately the decision is up to you. If you’re unhappy with how the pills make you feel, ask your doctor to help you taper off.

5. Continue Your Therapy. Medication can control the symptoms of anxiety, but it doesn’t treat the underlying problem. Therefore, it’s crucial to pursue therapy or some other form of anxiety treatment. Therapy can help you get to the root of your anxiety problem and develop better coping skills.

So before taking any kind of social anxiety medication, think carefully about these five points and then consult a doctor, psychologist or other medical professional for further advice.

Disclaimer

All advice on this site is merely advice. I am not a trained psychologist and you should always consult a doctor or other medical professional is social anxiety is adversely affecting your life and you have reached the stage where you are considering whether to take social anxiety medication.

Originally posted 2014-12-10 09:35:52. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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Think you’re lazy? Here’s how to be more active to combat social anxiety disorder

One of the (many) problems with social anxiety disorder is that it can affect your motivation to get out there and do things. The fear of negative evaluation by others might mean you prefer the safety of your bed, rather than face (usually misinterpreted) stares of disapproval.

However, human beings by nature need to be stimulated. And avoiding activities will simply make you feel worse rather than better. Being isolated can make you feel depressed. So the best antidote to changing the way you feel is to change the way you think and behave.

If you lie in bed all day waiting for the motivation/desire/energy to do something then you’ll be waiting a longtime. Instead you’ll find that doing literally anything other than nothing will raise your mood, boost your confidence and give you the drive to be more active.

Why am I so lazy?

First of all, don’t make the mistake of ‘labelling’ yourself ‘lazy’. As a human being you’re too complicated to define yourself by a single word or phrases. You might be lazy ‘sometimes’. But that doesn’t mean you have some sort of genetic imprint that prevents you from getting dressed and doing stuff.

Here are a few of the common excuses (particularly if you suffer from social anxiety disorder) that might pop into your head to avoid getting stuff done:

• ‘I don’t feel like it’ – it’s a myth to think that you have to wait to ‘feel’ like doing something before you can do it. It’s only after experiencing the rewards of achieving something that you’ll find the motivation to do more. Even little things, like cooking yourself dinner rather than eating dry toast, will improve your mood because of the beneficial outcome from your activity.

• ‘I’m too depressed’ – you feel the way that you think. So if you lie in bed all day staring at the ceiling tormenting yourself over your latest (perceived) social faux pas then you’re not going to feel like going on a 10k bike ride. The best way of fighting your depression is to change the way you think. Being active and pursuing fulfilling goals, whether it’s teaching yourself Spanish or learning to cook, is what will banish the black clouds in the long run.

• ‘I might fail’ – So what? Nobody is good at everything. And we all have our strengths and weaknesses in life. Thinking you shouldn’t play tennis or attend a job interview because you might not get the outcome you want is only going to be a self fulfilling prophesy. To get better at things you have to practice. And there are enough hobbies, sports and jobs out there for you to find one you get satisfaction from.

Remember that thinking you must win at something or must get the job is a rigid way of looking at things. You should give yourself some flexibility and have preferences for the outcomes you’d like rather than rigid success/failure demands.

So how do I get myself out of bed and combat social anxiety disorder?

A tried and tested method of beating the bedridden blues is taught by Dr David Burns in ‘Feeling Good’. He suggests writing out a time table for what you’d like to get done each day.

This can include the minor things, such as getting dressed and reading the paper, right up to shopping or attending a dinner party. At the end of the day you then rate out of five the satisfaction you found in the completion of each task. The easier tasks might only rate as a one, but the more demanding challenges could rate as a four or five.

What you should find is that the sense of accomplishment you get from scoring your activity each day will drive you to do more. Having a schedule also helps you to structure your time and keep yourself occupied.

Gradually, you should also find that you start pushing yourself to keep improving your score and pursuing ever more demanding tasks.

The list of things you could do is limitless. But here are a few ideas:

• Learn a new musical instrument
• Learn a new language
• Read a book (I’d highly recommend ‘Feeling Good’)
• Take up jogging (exercise is a great anxiety reliever)
• Start an eBay shop for some extra cash
• Decorate your bedroom to create a bright, warm atmosphere
• Learn to cook spicy Thai dishes
• Start writing a blog (doing something creative is always recommended for providing an outlet for expressing your social anxiety disorder)
• Practice meditating (also recommended for anxiety treatment)

So, if you’re currently lying in bed, feeling glum and reading this on your laptop – start writing a list of all the active things you could be doing.

Remember that you feel the way that you think. So start giving yourself a daily dose of uplifting brainwaves from pursuing fulfilling goals, and banish the bedridden blues for good.

[Photo courtesy of SqueakyMarmot]

Originally posted 2008-06-26 18:38:10. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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