Psycho-Cybernetics – The Pathway to Confidence and Inner Peace

21 Social Anxiety Quotes to Help You Feel Motivated to Seize the Day

Try remembering some of social anxiety quotes which you can refer to whenever you need some motivation and to lighten your mood

Ever have those day’s when you wake up the following morning feeling completely blanked out and lethargic? I felt like that this morning, probably because it’s a Monday. I just didn’t want to get up, and just lay there on my bed staring at the ceiling. My mind was telling me to get up to start my day but I couldn’t seem to escape the feeling of being tied to my bed.

I think it was because I was lacking the motivation, and my social anxiety was acting up again. In any case, I decided to look up some uplifting social anxiety quotes to help find some energy and focus.

I often avoided social interactions growing up, I felt awkward whenever I needed to introduce myself to someone or my sisters introduced their new friends to me. I kept on thinking how come I feel these weird uncomfortable feelings over and over again? When I am in doubt of myself and anxious of what people might think of me, I always remember these few lines from the poem Desiderata:

“If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater & lesser persons that yourself.” “Speak your TRUTH QUIETLY & CLEARLY, and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant, they too have their story.”

If you are having self-doubt and want to lift your spirits and feel more positive, try using some of these social anxiety quotes to help lighten you up and inspire you to approach the day in a new light.

Social Anxiety Quotes

1. “All too frequently, anxiety crushes not only your spirit and your potential, but your ability to take care of your mind and body.” ~Jonathan Davidson and Henry Dreher, The Anxiety Book: Developing Strength in the Face of Fear.

2. “Worry, doubt, fear and despair are the enemies which slowly bring us down to the ground and turn us to dust before we die.” ~Attributed to Douglas MacArthur

3. “Do not be afraid of tomorrow, for God is already there.” ~Author Unknown

4. “Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.” ~Author Unknown

5. “We experience moments absolutely free from worry. These brief respites are called panic.” ~Cullen Hightower

6. “Worry is a complete cycle of inefficient thought revolving about a pivot of fear.” ~Author Unknown

7 “To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another.” ~Katherine Paterson, Jacob Have I Loved

8. “Once you become self-conscious, there is no end to it; once you start to doubt, there is no room for anything else.” ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

9. “Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people.” ~André Dubus

10. “The shy and the extroverted have this in common — that they both fancy they are the center of attention.” ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com

11. “When I am anxious it is because I am living in the future. When I am depressed it is because I am living in the past.” ~Author Unknown

12. “Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice. Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

13. “If you can’t sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It’s the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep.” ~Dale Carnegie

14. “If one is forever cautious, can one remain a human being?” ~Aleksander Solzhenitsyn

15. “Real difficulties can be overcome, it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.” ~Theodore N. Vail

16. “People gather bundles of sticks to build bridges they never cross.” ~Author Unknown

17. “Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere.” ~Glenn Turner

18. “There are two days in the week about which and upon which I never worry… Yesterday and Tomorrow.” ~Robert Jones Burdette

19. “If a man harbors any sort of fear, it percolates through all thinking, damages his personality and makes him a landlord to a ghost.” ~Lloyd Douglas

20. “Other people’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.” ~Les Brown

21. “You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You’re on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.”
~Dr. Seuss

 

Originally posted 2014-12-01 10:04:41. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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Getting Over Social Anxiety – 5 Healthy Habits

Are you tired of always worrying, feeling uneasy when trap in social situations and getting nauseous and agitated for no apparent reason at all? I know what it feels like to have social anxiety because I was living with all these excessive uneasiness ad apprehension all my life. Until I woke up one day and decided that I needed to find a way of getting over social anxiety for good. I needed to do something different to drive my life into a new direction, I wanted to try something exciting and challenging that I know I get scared of doing before. I hate that feeling of having no grip on everything that’s happening in my life.

I always set goals for myself but there are some things that hinder me from doing what I am suppose to do. There are so many “What If’s” in my head until I decided to set my mind to pursue them no matter how much it would cost me. That was the time that I realizes that not finding a way of getting over social anxiety was  holding me back from living a fulfilling life.

Getting over social anxiety is not easy, however if you follow these simple habits then maybe you’ll get a chance of taking control of your life?

Getting Over Social Anxiety Tip 1. Acknowledge your Social Anxiety

This is the first step and perhaps the most important step to overcoming anxiety. Do not pretend it’s not there, by acknowledging it you are opening yourself to an opportunity for treatment. Accept that you are suffering from anxiety and you need help. Share your anxious feelings with your loved ones, family, friends and relatives. You can also seek for a professional help to guide you on what you are going through.

Getting Over Social Anxiety Tip  2. Learn some simple steps on how to deal with your Anxiety Symptoms

After your acceptance, it is time to make an action plan on how to cope up with your anxiety. There are a lot of step by step processes online on how to manage your anxiety. The National Institute of Anxiety and Stress has also made a downloadable audio and workbook exercises that would help you on how to deal with anxiety symptoms quickly, using a simple three-step formula to stop intense anxiety and a guide on what you need to do when you are having a panic attack. These easy to follow steps can be found here: http://ift.tt/1NQcLbp

Getting Over Social Anxiety Tip 3. Use “Power” Language

Words is a powerful tool and when you use it the right way it cannot only change one person’s perspective but can be a big influence to those people around you. Most people who have anxiety disorder are fond of using negative words that can destroy their self confidence. They always see themselves as victim and a few negative words that can be heard from them include; can’t, always, never, and should.
Learn how to beat anxiety by changing these negative words into “power” language. Power language is words that boost your self-esteem and personal power. Instead of saying “I can’t control my anxiety” you can change it to power language and it will become like “I can control my anxiety, and I’m learning skills to conquer it.” Practice this daily and you will be amazed how it can change your life for the better.

Getting Over Social Anxiety Tip 4. Tone your Inner Power Daily

Just like what the popular adage say, “Practice makes perfect” Practicing a healthy life strategy everyday would eventually increase your capability to overpower your anxiety. Start doing today what you couldn’t do yesterday, make this a habit and it will eventually become automatic. This is how you create lasting freedom from anxiety.

Getting Over Social Anxiety Tip 5. Finally get into a realization that “Now” is the perfect time to start feeling better.

Don’t wait another day to start a change in your life. The thing is, if you always postpone change would never happen. Don’t make excuses, if you can’t tackle your anxiety right now then when? There is no such thing as a “perfect time” you will end up waiting a lifetime for changes to happen.

Originally posted 2014-11-29 12:39:47. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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Review Shyness and Social Anxiety System

In this post I review the Shyness and Social Anxiety system. Can it help? How does it work?

The Shyness and Social Anxiety System is a social phobia support program created by Sean Cooper, an ex-sufferer of social anxiety and shyness.

Comprising of three eBooks and a private member’s support group, Sean’s system provides a guide to the latest thinking on what causes social anxiety and the techniques he developed to overcome it and live a more fulfilling life.

There’s no shortage of books and websites that already cover the principles of what causes social anxiety and how it can be treated. And most of them are, quite frankly, cheaper than Sean’s $29 system.

So is the investment worth it?

Does it offer anything new that can knock aside the social phobia barrier that’s blocking your enjoyment of life?

Or does it cover the same advice you can find elsewhere for less money?

Let’s find out…

What does the Shyness and Social Anxiety System cover?

The main 113 page eBook in the Shyness and Social Anxiety System takes a pragmatic approach to overcoming social phobia.

Rather than dwell on the past and allow excuses for avoiding human interaction, it focuses on practical steps you can take to improve your social skills and life.

The first section discusses why social anxiety (in most instances) is a ‘learned behaviour’ driven by an extreme fear of people’s disapproval. While genetics and childhood environment can play a part, Sean focuses on how it isn’t  a condition you’re automatically born with or a physical problem that can only be numbed/treated with medication.

As it’s a condition that’s learned, Sean explains how it can be unlearned.

How does Sean’s system help you to overcome social anxiety?

The cornerstone of overcoming social anxiety (in both my own and Sean’s opinion) is raising self esteem and changing your mindset.

I remember that when I discovered that it was negative, inaccurate thoughts that were driving my social phobia it was like someone switching on the light. It gave me a vision of a way out of feeling isolated and uncomfortable all the time.

Hiding away at home and avoiding people isn’t the answer. Instead Sean’s answer is to embrace the fear that drives social anxiety, rather than run away from them. I know this sounds daunting, but Sean explains it really is the only long-term way – unless you want to spend your life on medication and the numbness that goes with it.

However, Sean doesn’t simply push you out the door and wish you the best. He outlines the techniques he used to respond to the uncomfortable physical and mental symptoms of social anxiety, such as muscle relaxation, acceptance of the problem and allowing yourself the flexibility to make mistakes.

The third part of the book focuses on how to correct what, most likely, is driving your social anxiety in the first place: an inaccurate value system and a low sense of self worth. Sean studies in-depth the reasons why your value system might be out of sync, such as basing your value system on comparisons with other people and why social anxiety, for many people, is driven by a feeling that you’re hiding a big secret which will cause people to reject you.

Does it cover anything new?

If you’ve already been reading up on social anxiety, been seeing a therapist or taken a cognitive behavioral therapy course then a lot of these principles probably sound familiar. And that’s not really surprising because we’re not walking around blindly grasping for explanations on what causes social anxiety.

It affects millions of people around the world; it has been well researched and studied by clinical behavioral psychologists. We know why it happens and how to treat it.

However, what Sean’s book does do is offer a down practical advice on overcoming it. He writes in a friendly conversational tone that’s motivating and gets across the feeling that he’s there with you encouraging you to take the steps to deal with it.

His approach of facing the fear and rewiring your brain, rather than relying on short-term coping strategies, is also a more ballsy and (in my opinion) effective approach then you might find elsewhere.

In addition, Sean goes beyond simply explaining how to feel more comfortable in social situations. He goes on to explain the steps you need to take to become more spontaneous and to speak without thinking (rather than mentally having to clear everything before you say it).

This goes beyond the advice I’ve found elsewhere and can take you to a more advanced level of recovery.

What about the bonus eBooks?

In addition to the core eBook, you also get ‘What to Say Next’ and ‘Social Circle from Scratch’.

‘What to Say Next’  provides guidance on how to get better at what everyone with social anxiety struggles with: conversation. Sean explains how you can grow your conversational muscles through his ‘conversation thread technique’  which trains you to know how to respond to the things people say. The aim is that it enables you to become more immersed in subjects and conversation becomes natural as a result.

The ‘Social Circle from Scratch’ eBook outlines the tactics and techniques Sean developed for growing his social network. If you’ve been suffering from social anxiety for a long time then you might find yourself isolated and stuck at home wondering whether you’ll ever be able to enjoy the active life everyone else seems to lead. Sean explains how it can be done, through techniques such as getting on people’s social radar, ways of meeting people and how to strike up conversations.

Sean also drives home the importance of taking action. Staying at home feeling miserable is not going to help you. Taking steps, no matter how small, towards being more socially active is the only way.

I found both of the bonus eBooks to be very informative. They both covered principles I hadn’t read elsewhere and offer real, practical advice on the steps to take if you want to overcome your social anxiety and live a more fulfilling life.

So is the Shyness and Social Anxiety System worth the money?

I think deciding whether the Shyness and Social Anxiety System is worth buying really depends on where you are in your recovery.

If you’ve already read some books on social anxiety (e.g. Feeling Good by Dr David Burns or Overcoming Social Anxiety by Gillian Butler) then many of the principles in the first half of the main eBook wont be anything new.

However, Sean’s focus on facing the fear is an approach I’d recommend over the coping techniques covered in other books. I also think his conversational, easy to read style and the eBooks’ relatively short length will be more appealing to someone who’s just started on their road to  recovery and would like to understand the condition and what to do about it within an afternoon’s reading.

Conclusion

If you’re suffering from severe social anxiety, and struggle to even get out of the house, then you should get professional help, whether it’s a doctor or a therapist.

But in more moderate cases where you’re struggling with social interaction, suffer from the physical nervousness or want to stop feeling that you’re ‘being watched’ all the time then Sean’s system is certainly worth a look.

$29 might sound like a lot, but if it saves you the time of piecing everything together yourself from around the internet, or the thought of reading a 300 page book sounds daunting, then Sean’s system is a good option. He also offers a 60 day money back guarantee, so if you’re not happy with the Shyness and Social Anxiety System then you can always get your money back.

Disclaimer – The links in this article are affiliate links. That means I earn commission for any sales of Sean’s system referred through this site. As an ex-sufferer, I hope you can trust in the fact that this is an honest review based on actually reading the books and judging how their information compares to my own experiences and research. But if you prefer, this is a non affiliated link to his website:  

http://ift.tt/PjYEi9

Originally posted 2013-01-13 17:48:16. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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UK School Kids Given Lessons on How to Be Happy

You feel the way that you think, and now UK school children are being taught how to think more positively to help them cope with the stresses of teenage life. Initially, 1500 11-year olds from 22 schools are being given lessons on how to assess situations objectively, how to be assertive and many other skills that can help them cope better with emotionally difficult situations. If the scheme is a success then it could be expanded into class rooms on a national scale.

The scheme uses lessons taught in the USA by the Penn Resiliency Program, based in Philadelphia, which adopts tried and tested cognitive behavioural therapy techniques to ‘detect inaccurate thoughts, to evaluate the accuracy of those thoughts, and to challenge negative beliefs by considering alternative interpretations’.

Teaching children cognitive behavioural therapy could help them avoid problems later on in life

Whilst some might remember their school days with fond memories, childhood can be a difficult period because of peer pressure, the desire to fit in and having to cope with all the struggles of teenage life.

Psychotherapists believe that it’s during childhood that you form your belief system: opinions on yourself, other people and the world around you. Upsetting childhood experiences, such as being neglected or bullied, can lead to problems later on in life because of the negative associations you attach to similar situations.

So equipping impressionable school children with the skills to identify inaccurate, unhelpful thoughts and then to replace them with healthier, happier ways of thinking could prove invaluable in helping them grow into secure, confident adults.

Treatment for anxiety and depression is a global issue

In a 2006 international survey UK children ranked bottom for happiness and well being. Some blame celebrity culture, with its focus on money and possessions, for giving children an unhelpful value system (although the problem is far more complicated than a single root cause). However, teaching them how to feel confident and secure, without needing the latest designer clobber or the approval of others, could be coming at just the right time.

Awareness on the effectiveness of cognitive behavioural therapy, for treating anxiety and depression, is spreading all the time. The UK’s ‘happiness tsar’ Professor Richard Layard even believes it could help people living on benefits to get back to work.

With depression the world’s biggest mental health problem, teaching more people cognitive behavioural therapy (whether self taught, with a therapist or in a group) could make a positive impact on not just on the lives of children but society in general.

Originally posted 2008-09-08 17:02:59. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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Should You Try Social Anxiety Medication? 5 Things to Consider

If you suffer from social anxiety then the lure of a magic pill that can make your fears and worries vanish is highly appealing. And social anxiety medication does actually exist.

There are a variety of medications that are available to cure anxiety disorders, including but not limited to traditional anti-anxiety drugs such as benzodiazepines, antidepressants and beta-blockers. But before taking any kind of medication, you must first consider the fact that medication cannot cure anxiety entirely or over the long-term.

Social anxiety medication is at it’s most beneficial when combined with cognitive-behavioral therapy to address the underlying thoughts driving social phobia. This is because social anxiety medication can offer temporary relief to the symptoms so that it’s easier to put the principles of cognitive behavioural therapy into practice when trying to overcome social anxiety disorder.

Side effects of social anxiety medication

Just like any other over the counter drugs, antidepressants and other social anxiety drugs have their own share of side effects. These drugs are not safe for everyone even when used with precautions. They can lead to complications when combined with other substances, especially when you are using them for a long period of time. That’s why it is important to weigh carefully the pros and cons before taking any social anxiety medication, which must only ever be taken after speaking to a doctor and getting a prescription.

If you think you are considering taking medication for social anxiety disorder then there are five things to think about:

1. Be patient. The effects of anxiety medications is gradual, it would take time until you can feel their full therapeutic effect. It can often takes time and patience to find the drugs that works best for you so you will have to work closely with your doctor to find the right dosage and evaluate its effectiveness.

2. Avoid Alcohol. Avoid dangerous drugs interaction, do not mix alcohol with any anxiety medications. The after effect is lethal, even in less toxic doses it can cause poor coordination and impaired thinking, increasing the risk of motor vehicle incidents and other injuries.

3. Monitor your medication response. Everyone has varying reactions to medications that’s why it is important to keep a record of your reaction to your anxiety medication, these includes the physical and emotional changes that you are experiencing after taking the medication. Do not drive or operate heavy machinery if you are taking benzodiazepines like Valium, Xanax and et al., wait until you know how the drugs affect you. Always remember that your doctor has prescribed this medication because he or she has weighed the benefit to you is greater that the risk of side effects.

4. Talk to your doctor. Be open and honest about side effects your anxiety drug is causing. Don’t be afraid to discuss problems or concerns. And while you should never stop your anxiety medication without talking to your doctor first, ultimately the decision is up to you. If you’re unhappy with how the pills make you feel, ask your doctor to help you taper off.

5. Continue Your Therapy. Medication can control the symptoms of anxiety, but it doesn’t treat the underlying problem. Therefore, it’s crucial to pursue therapy or some other form of anxiety treatment. Therapy can help you get to the root of your anxiety problem and develop better coping skills.

So before taking any kind of social anxiety medication, think carefully about these five points and then consult a doctor, psychologist or other medical professional for further advice.

Disclaimer

All advice on this site is merely advice. I am not a trained psychologist and you should always consult a doctor or other medical professional is social anxiety is adversely affecting your life and you have reached the stage where you are considering whether to take social anxiety medication.

Originally posted 2014-12-10 09:35:52. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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Think you’re lazy? Here’s how to be more active to combat social anxiety disorder

One of the (many) problems with social anxiety disorder is that it can affect your motivation to get out there and do things. The fear of negative evaluation by others might mean you prefer the safety of your bed, rather than face (usually misinterpreted) stares of disapproval.

However, human beings by nature need to be stimulated. And avoiding activities will simply make you feel worse rather than better. Being isolated can make you feel depressed. So the best antidote to changing the way you feel is to change the way you think and behave.

If you lie in bed all day waiting for the motivation/desire/energy to do something then you’ll be waiting a longtime. Instead you’ll find that doing literally anything other than nothing will raise your mood, boost your confidence and give you the drive to be more active.

Why am I so lazy?

First of all, don’t make the mistake of ‘labelling’ yourself ‘lazy’. As a human being you’re too complicated to define yourself by a single word or phrases. You might be lazy ‘sometimes’. But that doesn’t mean you have some sort of genetic imprint that prevents you from getting dressed and doing stuff.

Here are a few of the common excuses (particularly if you suffer from social anxiety disorder) that might pop into your head to avoid getting stuff done:

• ‘I don’t feel like it’ – it’s a myth to think that you have to wait to ‘feel’ like doing something before you can do it. It’s only after experiencing the rewards of achieving something that you’ll find the motivation to do more. Even little things, like cooking yourself dinner rather than eating dry toast, will improve your mood because of the beneficial outcome from your activity.

• ‘I’m too depressed’ – you feel the way that you think. So if you lie in bed all day staring at the ceiling tormenting yourself over your latest (perceived) social faux pas then you’re not going to feel like going on a 10k bike ride. The best way of fighting your depression is to change the way you think. Being active and pursuing fulfilling goals, whether it’s teaching yourself Spanish or learning to cook, is what will banish the black clouds in the long run.

• ‘I might fail’ – So what? Nobody is good at everything. And we all have our strengths and weaknesses in life. Thinking you shouldn’t play tennis or attend a job interview because you might not get the outcome you want is only going to be a self fulfilling prophesy. To get better at things you have to practice. And there are enough hobbies, sports and jobs out there for you to find one you get satisfaction from.

Remember that thinking you must win at something or must get the job is a rigid way of looking at things. You should give yourself some flexibility and have preferences for the outcomes you’d like rather than rigid success/failure demands.

So how do I get myself out of bed and combat social anxiety disorder?

A tried and tested method of beating the bedridden blues is taught by Dr David Burns in ‘Feeling Good’. He suggests writing out a time table for what you’d like to get done each day.

This can include the minor things, such as getting dressed and reading the paper, right up to shopping or attending a dinner party. At the end of the day you then rate out of five the satisfaction you found in the completion of each task. The easier tasks might only rate as a one, but the more demanding challenges could rate as a four or five.

What you should find is that the sense of accomplishment you get from scoring your activity each day will drive you to do more. Having a schedule also helps you to structure your time and keep yourself occupied.

Gradually, you should also find that you start pushing yourself to keep improving your score and pursuing ever more demanding tasks.

The list of things you could do is limitless. But here are a few ideas:

• Learn a new musical instrument
• Learn a new language
• Read a book (I’d highly recommend ‘Feeling Good’)
• Take up jogging (exercise is a great anxiety reliever)
• Start an eBay shop for some extra cash
• Decorate your bedroom to create a bright, warm atmosphere
• Learn to cook spicy Thai dishes
• Start writing a blog (doing something creative is always recommended for providing an outlet for expressing your social anxiety disorder)
• Practice meditating (also recommended for anxiety treatment)

So, if you’re currently lying in bed, feeling glum and reading this on your laptop – start writing a list of all the active things you could be doing.

Remember that you feel the way that you think. So start giving yourself a daily dose of uplifting brainwaves from pursuing fulfilling goals, and banish the bedridden blues for good.

[Photo courtesy of SqueakyMarmot]

Originally posted 2008-06-26 18:38:10. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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Does Facebook Make Social Anxiety Worse? Or Can it Help Reduce it?

For some people socializing, business meetings and dating is no big deal. They get through it in a breeze. Some even love and enjoy the challenge of the unknown, their self confidence gives them that sense of assurance that nothing could go wrong especially if you are going on your first date.

But for some people who have social anxiety disorder, the thought of going to a crowded place to meet your date is scary. A lot of panicky thoughts will keep on hammering in your head. Worrying about what dress you are going to wear, the things that you will say and even the food you are going to order are just one of the million things that will creep inside your mind. Of course, you always want to keep your best foot forward and learn about your date as much as possible and one way is by looking them up on Facebook.

A new study have emerged that suggests looking up dates on Facebook actually causes increased anxiety and not comfort. The study is published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking suggests that screening someone’s Facebook beforehand might compound anxiety, particularly if you already have a mild social anxiety. The study, led by Assistant Professor of Psychology Dr. Shannon Rauch, conducted last year questioned 26 female undergraduate students at the same time as testing for levels of social anxiety.

Social media has its benefits for people with social anxiety disorder

If you are living with social anxiety for a quiet a long time, the thought of dating is just too much to handle for me. That’s why I love Yahoo messenger, msn and Skype they are the best way for me to meet my special someone before the actual date. Being able to chat beforehand gives you a better idea of what the person like and dislike. You can also find a lot of potential conversations starters once you get to the actual date.

But you can never trust anyone online, some people could take advantage of the system.

Do not let social media dictate your opinion of your date, getting to know your date face to face is the best way to know someone rather than snooping on social media, which will just induce prejudgments. Keep your perspective, do not let your fear overcome your date. It shouldn’t be as scary as you thought it should be. You are dating that person because you like to know him/her. You are interviewing your potential girlfriend/boyfriend as much as they are interviewing you.

So take a deep breath and concentrate on the present. Focus your attention outward on what he/she is saying rather on yourself and stop worrying about what will happen. After all, there’s plenty more fish in the sea and many more people you can date

Originally posted 2014-08-18 22:43:03. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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Stuttering: A speech syndrome or is it a byproduct of Social Anxiety?

It’s 4 in the morning I woke up really early and there’s one thing that popped in my mind. Stuttering, I wonder why I stutter so much whenever I’m speaking or even reading a short story to my toddler. I got up and googled to find out if it has anything to do with my social anxiety. But why would I fear of speaking if I’m only with a kid who doesn’t even know how to form a single sentence yet. I was shock on what I’ve found out. According to Psych Central on an article entitled “Stuttering: Myth vs. Fact” by Beth Gilbert, that apparently stuttering is considered by medical community as a psychiatric disorder categorize at the same level with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

I’ve always wanted to apply as a customer service representative as a part time job while I’m studying in College, but I always flunking the final interview and the phone simulation stage. I figured I wasn’t confident enough which was why my voice kept stuttering. I thought I can cure it by enrolling in speech classes. Though it helped me a little bit the stutter just won’t go away. So I gave up and now after 7 years, I thought my speech is better but I still can’t help the stuttering. Could it be caused by my social anxiety? Or am I just too dumb to speak fluently?

Stuttering isnt caused by social anxiety or stress

But it seems the other way around, social anxiety is a concomitant of stammering. In the Psych Central article Catherine Montgomery, executive director and founder of The American Institute for Stuttering in New York City, N.Y. says it’s not caused by emotional or psychological problems nor a nervous disorder or a condition caused by stress. Statistics even show that the average IQ of stutterers is about 14 points higher to that of the national average and the likelihood of to total recovery significantly diminishes as the child grows older. Studies suggest that stuttering has also a genetic basis, a family history of stuttering and strong fears or concerns about stuttering on the part of the child. These factors are essential for the diagnosis and in developing a specific treatment program.

But the best treatment as researchers found out is early intervention. “The earlier the therapy occurs, the better the results in resolving stuttering” says Maguire, a clinical researcher at UC Irvine. The most common treatment is behavioral, that is designed to educate and develop a person’s specific skills or behavior that can improve their oral communication. Pharmacological anti-anxiety therapies are also available for those who have difficulty controlling anxiety using cognitive-behavioural techniques. For those who have a family member, a friend or colleagues who have stutter problems, try to understand their situation and let them finish their sentences. Avoid giving suggestions like “slow down, relax or take a deep breath”. You may think that these are helpful but it can worsen the uncomfort they feel.

 

Originally posted 2014-08-03 17:03:37. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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15 Million Americans Estimated to Suffer from Social Anxiety

It looks as though my overcoming social anxiety disorder website is nearly up and running at just the right time based on the recent news headlines.

In the results of a survey, announced in Businessweek, it was discovered that potentially 15 million Americans could suffer from social anxiety, with it damaging their ability to live fulfilling social and romantic lives.

The fear of encountering hostility or rejection from other people means that millions of Americans are living isolated from their peers.

Some of the findings included:

• 36% suffer from social phobia for 10 years or more before getting help.
• Most started developing social problems in their early teens.
• Nearly 60% feel ashamed of their condition.
• 75% felt their social fears affected their ability to engage in everyday activities.

However, there is a glimmer of light shining between the clouds that are covering so many people’s lives in gloom because the survey also found that nearly 60% were able to build happy love lives after receiving treatment.

We no longer live in the dark ages when it comes to social anxiety – with all the research and clinical studies from the last 50 years providing in-depth understanding into how the condition can be treated.

A combination of cognitive behavioral therapy, relaxation techniques and antidepressant medication can enable people to shed the shackles of their social anxiety and live happy, fulfilling lives.

It’s just a shame that so many people take so long to get help and lose active years of their lives in the process.

Which is why I started this website – to spread awareness on CBT and enable more people to be able to build fulfilling relationships with others.

Originally posted 2008-04-16 22:32:04. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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How Social Anxiety Can Affect You at Work and 4 Ways to Overcome it

When you have social anxiety disorder work can be stressful and it can affect your productivity. While this is all too familiar to sufferers, this was also the insight of Dr Lynn Bufka, a licensed psychologist, when sharing advice on treating social anxiety and stress related problems in the workplace.

Her comment was in response to questions during the “Ask Me Anything” segment on Reddit about coping with stress. Social anxiety can be at its most acute at work and often people who suffer from social anxiety don’t only put their careers at risk but their personal lives as well. There are also many people who spent months or years struggling to get a job because their social anxiety prevents them calling potential employers for an interview or showing up for interview at all.

Social anxiety in the workplace is often misunderstood

A lot of people don’t understand what it is like to be living with social anxiety. Some even criticize them with lack of self motivation and laziness. But motivating yourself is hard when your mind is filled with negative thoughts.

If you are currently working, social anxiety can also decrease chances of promotion and might affect your performance because you are not comfortable in the company of your colleagues. This may lead your co workers thinking that you are unfriendly and mean. There are times that you are unable to complete any task because you are too focused on your anxiety.

While this all sounds doom and gloom, the good news is that there are strategies you can use to reduce your social anxiety and feel more relaxed and comfortable at work:

1. Slow down your breathing – relax and give yourself a break. Take a deep breath and place your hand on your abdomen. Do this for five seconds and repeat as many times until your chest stops feeling tight and your mind has stopped racing.

2. Make small talk – people love to talk about themselves, so focus your attention on what your colleagues or clients want to talk about rather than yourself.

3. Practice at home – think of the stressful things that you are anxious about. Practice them with people whom you are comfortable with, like your family members and friends.

4. Remember that you are not the center of everyone’s attention – we are always worrying about what other people might think if we say this or that. But we don’t know that the other person is also worrying about themselves.

If you suffer from social anxiety, I know these tips are easier said than done. The key is to think about including them in a long-term strategy for overcoming social anxiety, where you have the goal of feeling confident and relaxed around people and then plot the steps towards getting there. This can include getting in shape, taking up more hobbies and interests, gradual exposure to social situations and forming mutually supportive friendships with other people that understand what you’re going through, whether in a live support group or in the online world.

Originally posted 2014-08-14 14:49:16. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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Feeling moody? Maybe it’s the weather

[photo courtesy James Jordan]

The brain is a complicated muscle, but one we’re learning more about all the time. Most people aren’t adversely affected by the changes in the weather as summer draws to a close, whilst some feel moody, drained and depressed with the arrival of cold winds and gray skies.

In the news recently the results of research was announced that identified a biological reason why two million people in the UK suffer from seasonal affective disorder.

Scientists from the Centre of Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto, Canada, conducted brain scans of 88 adults. They discovered that those who experienced low moods and depression in winter had a higher level of a specific protein than those who were unaffected by seasonal changes.

It’s believed that the identified protein soaks up serotonin (feel good chemical) in the brain, causing an adverse effect on people’s mood. It’s long been known that depression is accompanied by low serotonin levels, so the research further emphasises how important a healthy mind and body are for your sense of well being.

With anxiety being such a complicated and deep rooted issue I’d suggest that other factors are probably at play along with the higher levels of a certain protein. However, the fact that scientists are now able to identify some of the biological reasons why the brain behaves in a certain way emphasises the strides being made in understanding anxiety in all its forms.

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Originally posted 2008-09-02 16:26:53. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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Coping with Criticism if You Suffer from Socially Anxiety Disorder

Social anxiety disorder is rooted in the chronic fear of being negatively judged or insulted. If you’re suffering from the low self esteem that partners social phobia then criticism always seems spiteful and upsetting because it triggers your self punishing, painful thoughts.

However, there shouldn’t be any reason for you to live in chronic fear of barbed comments if you can teach yourself how to respond objectively, and even be able to disarm insults like a master swordsman when they occur.

The isolation brought upon by social anxiety is normally partnered by depression and low self esteem. When you’re feeling rotten and worthless your thought patterns and emotions are shrouded in gloom by the black clouds that follow you around. This means that whenever anybody says anything degrading you’re likely to exaggerate its significance, take it to heart and incorrectly think it means you’re a worthless person.

How cognitive behavioural therapy can help

Thinking negatively and exaggerating the significance of the things people say is a thinking error brought upon by your depression, which prevents you from interpreting what people say in a realistic, objective manner.

Cognitive behavioural therapy teaches you how to identify the negative beliefs and thinking errors that make you get upset whenever you’re criticised. You can then learn to recognise unhelpful thinking errors when they occur and replace them with more positive, realistic thoughts.

This obviously sounds a lot easier said than done, and it can take many months to start changing the way you automatically think and feel. However, it has been clinically proven that it can be done, and CBT provides you with a goal orientated framework for overcoming your social anxiety a step at a time.

Once you’re able to assess the things people say more objectively you’ll then be able to apply a more logical approach to criticism and not take it so personally.

Learn how to interpret comments objectively

If there is an element of truth to someone’s comments then you should use it as an opportunity to learn about your mistakes and how you can correct your behaviour. You’re only human after all and will always make mistakes from time to time. And because you’re human you also constantly developing, so criticism can sometimes give you a few pointers to show you how to grow as a person.

On the other hand, if after assessing criticism objectively you think somebody is just being rude or insulting then their comments shouldn’t have the power to upset you. Why should you feel hurt or devalued because of somebody else’s mistake in judgement?

Remember that it’s not the things people say that can make you feel upset – it’s how you interpret them.

How to handle insults

In Dr David D. Burns’ ‘Feeling Good’ (a global bestseller which has shifted over three million copies) he teaches an ’empathy and disarming’ technique for responding to insults without hurling them back or running home to hide under your bed covers.

Firstly, you have to emphasise with your attacker – objectively assess why they are attacking you. What is the basis for their barbed comments?

By listening and asking for clarification on why they are being insulting, you can calm them down by letting them know that you are listening and can prevent the situation escalating into full scale warfare.

Using empathy is an opportunity to understand if there is any basis to the insults, or if the attacker is just being offensive.

The next stage is to use the ‘disarming technique’ to defuse the situation without losing your temper or losing face. Simply find a way to agree with an aspect of what your attacker is saying, whether you believe it or not, and that way you can disarm their barbed thrusts with the skill of musketeer:

Attacker: ‘You’re a loser.”

You: “Well, I certainly make mistakes sometimes and I’m not the greatest sportsman. There’s certainly areas in which I could improve, but doesn’t everybody.”

Attacker: “You’re a skinny, stupid waster with nothing to offer anybody.”

You: “Yes I could certainly do with putting on some weight, I’m not going to be the world’s next Einstein and I could certainly apply myself better. But I have skills in other areas, just as everybody does, and I have lots to offer the people around me.”

By agreeing, if only partially, with their line of attack you simply take the air out of their sails and divert them from the collision course you’d be heading for if you were to fight fire with fire.

You feel the way that you think, so learn to change your negative thoughts

Being able to identify your positive attributes, rather than kick yourself over your weaknesses, is another skill taught by cognitive behavioural therapy, and is useful in being able to respond objectively to criticism and not take what people say to heart.

The key is to be able to react based on facts, rather than let disagreements deteriorate into name calling or a humiliating retreat.

With practice in learning how to respond in a more realistic, objective manner, you’ll find that the risk of criticism will no longer seem so terrifying, and your social anxiety will recede as a result.

Photo courtesy of Nika

Originally posted 2008-04-21 15:23:28. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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How Can I Do a Test for Social Anxiety Disorder?

Over the last few decades recognition of social anxiety disorder has grown rapidly. No longer is it seen as just a case of someone being over sensitive, too shy or introverted, but a recognised and diagnosable condition. But as with all anxiety disorders, it can be difficult to test for social phobia without clear guidance from a doctor or a psychiatrist.

It’s not like having a fever, when you can just check someone’s temperature or their physical symptoms. What’s more, social anxiety disorder can be a complex condition, with symptoms that can very in severity dramatically between individuals. Some people might just prefer to avoid going to parties and speaking in front of people they don’t know, while others might struggle to leave their house altogether due to the fear of negative stares.

Thankfully, a social anxiety disorder test was devised by Dr Michael R. Liebowitz, a psychiatrist and researcher at Columbia University, New York. First devised in 1987, his social anxiety disorder test continues to be the most widely used and recognised method of diagnosing the condition. Studies have shown it to be an efficient and cost effective way for people to test for social anxiety disorder so they can then progress towards beginning a process of treating the inaccurate, underlying thoughts that drive it.

What is the social anxiety disorder test?

The Liebowitz Social Anxiety Disorder Test consists of 24 questions designed to assess the scale at which social phobia affects your life based on an overall score of its severity. Thirteen of the questions focus on performance related anxiety, such as speaking on a phone in public or talking to someone in authority, while eleven deal with social situations, such as going to a party or speaking in a meeting.

After completing all the questions you are then given a score out of 144. If your score is high, and you are classified in the more severe categories, the important thing is to not feel down and depressed. The fact is that, as with all diagnosable conditions, social anxiety disorder can be treated.

With a diagnosis comes treatment

If you think you might be suffering from social anxiety disorder, the wisest thing to do is to visit a medical professional, whether it’s a doctor or a psychotherapist. They can give you a professional diagnosis along with advice on the best course of action to reduce your symptoms to the level where social anxiety disorder no longer gets in the way of living a fulfilling life.

If your social anxiety is fairly mild, it could be that all you may need to do is to start making some lifestyle changes, such as taking up new hobbies that give you a sense of achievement and boost your esteem as well as provide you with healthier interactions with other people. In more severe cases, where social anxiety disorder is causing you to feel depressed and is adversely affecting your life, then seeing a cognitive behavioural therapist along with a course of medication might be advisable.

So it’s wise to consult a medical professional, whether it’s a doctor or a psychiatrist, for a diagnosis and advice if your anxious thoughts and feelings are getting in the way of your ability to enjoy a happy, fulfilling life.

Originally posted 2013-06-04 14:19:53. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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Stanford Study finds the ‘Fear Center’ in Children that May Contribute to Social Anxiety as they Grow Up

Living in fear and excessive self consciousness is no way to live. Especially if you are just a kid. It’s hard to go through life and achieve your dreams if you were always anxious and calculated in every decision you make. Children are like delicate flowers that can easily be swayed and blown away by the force of nature. They tend to grow into their fears and not outgrow out of them.

Anxiety is a common mental health problem affecting many children and adolescents today. But the good thing is, it is a treatable condition. A new study from the Researchers at Stanford University School of Medicine says that kids with anxieties, like social anxiety, have larger amygdale or what’s better known as “fear center” – a set of neurons located deeply in the brain’s medial temporal lobe. They have conducted the research involving 76 children among the ages of seven and nine years old, a period where the researchers can accurately identify the anxiety levels of the children.

But some agencies and organizations are skeptical about the cause and effect of the new study. However, this is good news for parents who have children who suffer from excessive fears and anxiety. The study may be a breakthrough for identifying in advance social anxiety disorder risks for children.

I for one have my own fair share of anxieties as a kid. I know people who have dealt with social anxieties growing up and most of them were saying that if only they have open up more to their parents as a child. They could have spared the burden of what social anxiety have cost their lives all throughout adolescence and adulthood. As parents, we should be the one responsible in giving our children the quality of life they deserve. We should be in more careful watch of our children’s behavior and how they respond to those around them. Identifying the symptoms of anxiety as early as possible and finding effective treatments is always the best way to give your children a full and happy life.

Originally posted 2014-07-10 22:02:44. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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YouTube Videos on Social Anxiety Disorder

Vladimir has recently overtaken the Shy and Quiet blog if you’d like to read a personal account on getting to grips with overcoming social anxiety. He’s also bravely posted some videos onto YouTube, which you might  find helpful, in which he discusses the causes of his problem and his determination to overcome them.

Whilst on YouTube I also stumbled upon this video featuring a former sufferer who has managed to overcome his social anxiety by realising why certain situations made him feel uncomfortable and then learning what he needed to do to overcome his social phobia.

I hope you find the videos useful, and you might also like to read some of the comments underneath to remind yourself that you’re not alone and that social anxiety is more common than you might think.

Originally posted 2009-02-07 19:55:23. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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Is There a Chimp Causing Your Unhelpful Thoughts?

BBC radio show The Daily Bacon recently featured an interview with sports psychiatrist Dr Steve Peters about his new book ‘The Chimp Paradox’.

Dr Peters has helped the British Olympic Cycling Team to improve their mental processes and has worked with hospital patients suffering from depression and other mental health issues for 20 years. So when he shares his insights on how you can improve your thought processes and quality of life, you tend to listen.

You can listen to the podcast by clicking here (or right clicking and downloading), and then fast forwarding to 20 mins 40 seconds (after an interview with Simon Mayo). The reason I’m writing about this is because of the parallels between what he describes as the ‘chimp’ part of the brain and the unhelpful, negative and irrational thoughts that cause social anxiety.

It’s the chimp that causes impulsive and inaccurate thoughts and reactions

Dr Peters describes the brain (based on a simplification of clinical research) as having three parts:

1)      The human front – our rational thoughts and how we’d like to feel and behave
2)      The chimp – our irrational thoughts that cause us to think and behave in an unhelpful manner i.e. feel anxious in social situations
3)       The computer – all the knowledge and experience we’ve accumulated over our lives

It’s the chimp part that causes us to react impulsively to situations before our rational part kicks in. And research shows that social anxiety is caused by irrational and unhelpful thoughts that are rooted in our fight or flee mechanism. So to reduce your anxiety, you need to be able to counter the chimp part of your brain.

Dr Peters doesn’t go into details on how you can do this on the podcast, other than that his model incorporates elements of cognitive behavioural therapy. I haven’t read the book (I managed to beat my social anxiety a few years ago through a combination of CBT, exercise, living a more active lifestyle and taking up social hobbies which involved interaction with other people), but it gets a five star rating based on 39 reviews on Amazon. You can find out more by clicking here (yes, it’s an affiliate link, but I only recommend products I genuinely believe cam help you).

The podcast also features a clip of former England rugby international player Brian Moore (skip to 30 mins 50 seconds) talking about his inner golumn, which used to cause him to suffer from negative thoughts but it’s a voice he’s now learned to ignore.

‘Don’t engage your inner golumn on a long, fruitless discussion you can never win’

When I first started on my journey to beat social anxiety I had no idea it was even a treatable condition until I started researching it on the web (and when I visited a doctor they just put me straight on medication!).

But there seems to be a growing understanding amongst psychologists, psychiatrists and other mental health professionals on the fact that its inaccurate, unhelpful and irrational thoughts that cause issues like social anxiety disorder, and as such they need to be challenged or simply ignored.

Originally posted 2012-03-16 17:11:03. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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Can Botox Treat Social Anxiety and Depression? Or is it Just a Temporary Fix?

Botox is used to medically treat muscular conditions and cosmetically remove wrinkles by paralyzing the muscles. But the question is, how can it cure depression? Dr. Eric Finzi, a Maryland dermatologist, has suggested it could be used to treat depression. In his study, published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research,  Dr. Finzi observed a reported 52 percent reduction in depressed patients injected with Botox, compared to 15 percent in the ones who received the saline placebo. One of his patients who had undergone the Botox treatment revealed that the paralyzing effect of the Botox on her facial muscles enabled her to lightheartedly approach every problems she comes to face, making her feel less happy and unaffected with those people who surround her.

With smiling alone believed to improve happiness and reduce social anxiety, it could be that Botox also helps by numbing the muscles in the brows that create expressions of sadness, anger and fear. But making your outside expression seem joyful doesn’t really reflect what you feel deep inside. After a while the effects of the drugs subside and let you go back to your old self, as the paralyzing effect of the drugs on your face began to wear off and you start to feel the other half of your face.

Depression is a mixture of sad feelings that you feel inside you. Botox may help you cover up for your real emotions but it doesn’t erase those depressive feelings. That feeling of worthlessness will still remain and after four months when the Botox effect has all gone you are back to your old depressed self again. There is no short cut in treating depression.

Instead, deal with your depressing realistically; acknowledge the things that are failing you. Make a daily schedule of what you want to accomplish for the entire day. Exercise and eat healthily as regular exercise seems to encourage the brain to re focused in a more positive way, which also helps to reduce social anxiety .

Take responsibility and challenge those negative thoughts in your head. Depression is a mental state, if you can devise a way to shift your negative thoughts into something positive and life enriching  then there you can achieve a happy and fulfilling life ahead of you.

 

 

Originally posted 2014-07-17 11:03:29. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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‘Social Viagra’ anti-social anxiety disorder drug announced

In the news recently a new anti-anxiety drug was announced that uses oxytocin hormones released by mothers when they bond with their newborn babies. The results of trials appear to be encouraging, with 120 patients reported to be relieved of their social anxiety within half an hour.

The report also highlights how millions of people suffer from shyness or social anxiety in the UK. One in ten say it affects their daily lives, with many seeking refuge in drink and illegal drugs to try and alleviate the symptoms.

There have been plenty of false dawns in the promises of drugs that can cure people of their anxiety. However, If ‘social viagra’ proves to be as effective as is being reported then it can certainly help soften the uncomfortable  feelings of anxiety, and make learning how to change the way you think and feel that little bit easier.

I (along with many psychologists and doctors) don’t think that the long-term approach to overcoming social anxiety is in pill form. Cognitive behavioral therapy teaches you how to identify the uncomfortable thoughts that cause your anxiety, realize they’re illogical and then how to adopt more helpful, objective ways of thinking and feeling.

CBT isn’t a magic bullet (unlike the promises made by many drug companies). But it has clinically proven to be effective for thousands of people who have struggled with anxiety, depression or both.

On a brighter note, it’s fascinating to think that an anti-anxiety drug could be used to make people more generous, to create a soothing atmosphere in restauarants or to replace tear gas for riot control.

Originally posted 2008-06-23 14:06:33. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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What Causes Social Anxiety Disorder, Panic and Fear of Strangers?

If you suffer from social anxiety then the fear of what people think can sometimes be overwhelming. Simple activities like walking into a crowded room or sitting near a group of strangers can be enough to set off your alarm bells and cause you to panic. Because you’re convinced people are judging you and talking about you. In the worst case scenario you might hear someone laugh, which of course you think is aimed at you.

If this sounds familiar then you’re not alone. Literally millions of people around the world suffer from social anxiety and panic in uncomfortable situations. It’s estimated that 10% will suffer social anxiety at some stage in their life.

Why do I suffer anxiety and fear of strangers?

There are believed to be a few reasons why you might have developed social anxiety and the fear of people you don’t know. The main causes are believed to be rooted in your childhood: growing up with anxious or overly critical parents; or bullied or neglected as a child.

The low self esteem these experiences can cause can mean that you’re always looking to win the approval of others. This in turn makes you feel anxious because you’re constantly worrying about what people think and whether they’ll reject you.

Can social anxiety be overcome?

Social anxiety is believed to be the third most common psychiatric disorder, after depression and alcoholism, and in recent years extensive studies have been conducted into its causes and effects. With a diagnosis comes treatment, and thousands of people have learned to overcome their anxiety and panic through a combination of:

• cognitive behavioural therapy (which teaches you how to replace your uncomfortable thoughts with more helpful ways of thinking)
• exercise
• relaxation techniques
• being more active
• medication (a magic bullet doesn’t exist for social anxiety. But a doctor can prescribe drugs that will take the edge off your sense of panic in social situations to help you change the way you think and behave and overcome your anxiety in the long term)

There’s an abundance of information to help you pacify your panic

When I’ve (finally) finished my Overcoming Social Anxiety eBook it will provide an overview of cognitive behavioural therapy and practical exercises you can use to gradually change the way you think and behave. And there’s already a wealth of information available in books and on the web to help you understand what social anxiety is and what strategies you can use to overcome its symptoms.

A particularly useful site (directed to by Ileana at the Beating Social Anxiety blog) is about.com’s Social Anxiety Disorder site. There’s plenty of informative articles on here to get you started in understanding your condition, and to help you realise that you’re not alone in experiencing panic in social situations.

Originally posted 2008-07-24 13:43:37. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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