Could Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Have Helped Kurt Cobain Overcome Social Anxiety Disorder?

Yesterday I watched the biopic ‘About a Son’ in which Kurt Cobain discusses his childhood, music career and views on life. An edited version of 25 hours of interview tapes recorded a year before he committed suicide, the film offers some insight into the negative thought patterns that seemed to be driving Kurt towards taking his own life.

From the film  I got the impression that Kurt exhibited many of the characteristics and symptoms of someone who suffers from social anxiety disorder.

Unhappy childhood

His childhood was blighted by an unaffectionate parent and problems at school from feeling isolated and bullied by the other kids. He comments how he used to feel constantly paranoid and threatened by other people, and even had thoughts of violence because of it.

If you suffer from a lack of affection, a difficulty to connect with other people and social awkwardness then this can lead to an irrational fear, distrust or hatred of other people in adult life. And it’s believed by psychotherapists that the underlying thought processes which lead to social anxiety disorder are formed by unhappy childhood experiences.

Kurt was known to be a recluse, withdrawn and rarely engaged with other people if he could avoid it, typical symptoms of someone who suffered from social phobia.

Kurt’s answer to his troubling thoughts and his chronic stomach pains was to self medicate with opiates and heroin, which would have offered temporary escape but exasperated his problems in the long run.

A life without hope?

Nobody really knows what drove someone who was wealthy, successful and had a baby girl to feel that life was so futile that suicide was the only escape from their misery. But it’s likely that it was his inability to overcome his troubling thought patterns that made his life seem so intolerable.

Now I’m not an expert on Kurt Cobain and haven’t read any of the books on his life, but from my perspective it seems that he could have benefited from cognitive behavioural therapy.

Social phobia and other social anxiety disorders are driven by irrational, negative thought patterns. If Kurt could have been helped to understand how it was the unhelpful childhood experiences driving his subconscious hatred of people and gloomy outlook on life then maybe he could have been directed onto another path.

You feel the way that you think

The way our brains respond to the world around us is a complex puzzle which psychologists and therapists are still making sense of.

But if the brain has been programmed to think in an unhelpful way because of a troubling childhood then, with practice and patience, it can be reprogrammed to think in a more, realistic and helpful manner.

Perhaps if Kurt had learned to challenge his negative thoughts and to replace them with more objective ways of thinking then he might still be with us today, and writing more optimistic songs filled with life and hope because of it.

Image courtesy of Buzzworthy

Originally posted 2008-12-08 17:14:02. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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How Social Anxiety Can Affect You at Work and 4 Ways to Overcome it

When you have social anxiety disorder work can be stressful and it can affect your productivity. While this is all too familiar to sufferers, this was also the insight of Dr Lynn Bufka, a licensed psychologist, when sharing advice on treating social anxiety and stress related problems in the workplace.

Her comment was in response to questions during the “Ask Me Anything” segment on Reddit about coping with stress. Social anxiety can be at its most acute at work and often people who suffer from social anxiety don’t only put their careers at risk but their personal lives as well. There are also many people who spent months or years struggling to get a job because their social anxiety prevents them calling potential employers for an interview or showing up for interview at all.

Social anxiety in the workplace is often misunderstood

A lot of people don’t understand what it is like to be living with social anxiety. Some even criticize them with lack of self motivation and laziness. But motivating yourself is hard when your mind is filled with negative thoughts.

If you are currently working, social anxiety can also decrease chances of promotion and might affect your performance because you are not comfortable in the company of your colleagues. This may lead your co workers thinking that you are unfriendly and mean. There are times that you are unable to complete any task because you are too focused on your anxiety.

While this all sounds doom and gloom, the good news is that there are strategies you can use to reduce your social anxiety and feel more relaxed and comfortable at work:

1. Slow down your breathing – relax and give yourself a break. Take a deep breath and place your hand on your abdomen. Do this for five seconds and repeat as many times until your chest stops feeling tight and your mind has stopped racing.

2. Make small talk – people love to talk about themselves, so focus your attention on what your colleagues or clients want to talk about rather than yourself.

3. Practice at home – think of the stressful things that you are anxious about. Practice them with people whom you are comfortable with, like your family members and friends.

4. Remember that you are not the center of everyone’s attention – we are always worrying about what other people might think if we say this or that. But we don’t know that the other person is also worrying about themselves.

If you suffer from social anxiety, I know these tips are easier said than done. The key is to think about including them in a long-term strategy for overcoming social anxiety, where you have the goal of feeling confident and relaxed around people and then plot the steps towards getting there. This can include getting in shape, taking up more hobbies and interests, gradual exposure to social situations and forming mutually supportive friendships with other people that understand what you’re going through, whether in a live support group or in the online world.

Originally posted 2014-08-14 14:49:16. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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UK School Kids Given Lessons on How to Be Happy

You feel the way that you think, and now UK school children are being taught how to think more positively to help them cope with the stresses of teenage life. Initially, 1500 11-year olds from 22 schools are being given lessons on how to assess situations objectively, how to be assertive and many other skills that can help them cope better with emotionally difficult situations. If the scheme is a success then it could be expanded into class rooms on a national scale.

The scheme uses lessons taught in the USA by the Penn Resiliency Program, based in Philadelphia, which adopts tried and tested cognitive behavioural therapy techniques to ‘detect inaccurate thoughts, to evaluate the accuracy of those thoughts, and to challenge negative beliefs by considering alternative interpretations’.

Teaching children cognitive behavioural therapy could help them avoid problems later on in life

Whilst some might remember their school days with fond memories, childhood can be a difficult period because of peer pressure, the desire to fit in and having to cope with all the struggles of teenage life.

Psychotherapists believe that it’s during childhood that you form your belief system: opinions on yourself, other people and the world around you. Upsetting childhood experiences, such as being neglected or bullied, can lead to problems later on in life because of the negative associations you attach to similar situations.

So equipping impressionable school children with the skills to identify inaccurate, unhelpful thoughts and then to replace them with healthier, happier ways of thinking could prove invaluable in helping them grow into secure, confident adults.

Treatment for anxiety and depression is a global issue

In a 2006 international survey UK children ranked bottom for happiness and well being. Some blame celebrity culture, with its focus on money and possessions, for giving children an unhelpful value system (although the problem is far more complicated than a single root cause). However, teaching them how to feel confident and secure, without needing the latest designer clobber or the approval of others, could be coming at just the right time.

Awareness on the effectiveness of cognitive behavioural therapy, for treating anxiety and depression, is spreading all the time. The UK’s ‘happiness tsar’ Professor Richard Layard even believes it could help people living on benefits to get back to work.

With depression the world’s biggest mental health problem, teaching more people cognitive behavioural therapy (whether self taught, with a therapist or in a group) could make a positive impact on not just on the lives of children but society in general.

Originally posted 2008-09-08 17:02:59. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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Think you’re lazy? Here’s how to be more active to combat social anxiety disorder

One of the (many) problems with social anxiety disorder is that it can affect your motivation to get out there and do things. The fear of negative evaluation by others might mean you prefer the safety of your bed, rather than face (usually misinterpreted) stares of disapproval.

However, human beings by nature need to be stimulated. And avoiding activities will simply make you feel worse rather than better. Being isolated can make you feel depressed. So the best antidote to changing the way you feel is to change the way you think and behave.

If you lie in bed all day waiting for the motivation/desire/energy to do something then you’ll be waiting a longtime. Instead you’ll find that doing literally anything other than nothing will raise your mood, boost your confidence and give you the drive to be more active.

Why am I so lazy?

First of all, don’t make the mistake of ‘labelling’ yourself ‘lazy’. As a human being you’re too complicated to define yourself by a single word or phrases. You might be lazy ‘sometimes’. But that doesn’t mean you have some sort of genetic imprint that prevents you from getting dressed and doing stuff.

Here are a few of the common excuses (particularly if you suffer from social anxiety disorder) that might pop into your head to avoid getting stuff done:

• ‘I don’t feel like it’ – it’s a myth to think that you have to wait to ‘feel’ like doing something before you can do it. It’s only after experiencing the rewards of achieving something that you’ll find the motivation to do more. Even little things, like cooking yourself dinner rather than eating dry toast, will improve your mood because of the beneficial outcome from your activity.

• ‘I’m too depressed’ – you feel the way that you think. So if you lie in bed all day staring at the ceiling tormenting yourself over your latest (perceived) social faux pas then you’re not going to feel like going on a 10k bike ride. The best way of fighting your depression is to change the way you think. Being active and pursuing fulfilling goals, whether it’s teaching yourself Spanish or learning to cook, is what will banish the black clouds in the long run.

• ‘I might fail’ – So what? Nobody is good at everything. And we all have our strengths and weaknesses in life. Thinking you shouldn’t play tennis or attend a job interview because you might not get the outcome you want is only going to be a self fulfilling prophesy. To get better at things you have to practice. And there are enough hobbies, sports and jobs out there for you to find one you get satisfaction from.

Remember that thinking you must win at something or must get the job is a rigid way of looking at things. You should give yourself some flexibility and have preferences for the outcomes you’d like rather than rigid success/failure demands.

So how do I get myself out of bed and combat social anxiety disorder?

A tried and tested method of beating the bedridden blues is taught by Dr David Burns in ‘Feeling Good’. He suggests writing out a time table for what you’d like to get done each day.

This can include the minor things, such as getting dressed and reading the paper, right up to shopping or attending a dinner party. At the end of the day you then rate out of five the satisfaction you found in the completion of each task. The easier tasks might only rate as a one, but the more demanding challenges could rate as a four or five.

What you should find is that the sense of accomplishment you get from scoring your activity each day will drive you to do more. Having a schedule also helps you to structure your time and keep yourself occupied.

Gradually, you should also find that you start pushing yourself to keep improving your score and pursuing ever more demanding tasks.

The list of things you could do is limitless. But here are a few ideas:

• Learn a new musical instrument
• Learn a new language
• Read a book (I’d highly recommend ‘Feeling Good’)
• Take up jogging (exercise is a great anxiety reliever)
• Start an eBay shop for some extra cash
• Decorate your bedroom to create a bright, warm atmosphere
• Learn to cook spicy Thai dishes
• Start writing a blog (doing something creative is always recommended for providing an outlet for expressing your social anxiety disorder)
• Practice meditating (also recommended for anxiety treatment)

So, if you’re currently lying in bed, feeling glum and reading this on your laptop – start writing a list of all the active things you could be doing.

Remember that you feel the way that you think. So start giving yourself a daily dose of uplifting brainwaves from pursuing fulfilling goals, and banish the bedridden blues for good.

[Photo courtesy of SqueakyMarmot]

Originally posted 2008-06-26 18:38:10. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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Discover how you Can live a more fulfilling life free from social anxiety

If you suffer from social anxiety disorder, simple everyday activities, such as going to the shops or standing on a crowded bus, can seem daunting. Worrying about what other people think of you and if something bad will happen blights the lives of millions every day.

Thankfully, I learned to overcome my anxiety through learning more about the mental triggers and the underlying causes. I created this website to share what worked for me in the hope that it can help others overcome their social anxiety disorder (and without medication!) and live a happier, more fulfilled life free from the fear of strangers.

I’m guessing you arrived here whilst hunting for info on social anxiety disorder. Answers to questions like ‘Why does it happen to me?’, ‘Why do I feel afraid of people I don’t even know, am I crazy?’ and, most importantly, ‘What can I do about it?’.

The reason why I know this is because I did exactly the same thing myself a few years ago.

Social anxiety disorder had put a dark cloud over my life since my teenage years.

Simple everyday things, like catching a bus, walking around the shops or going out to meet friends, were a struggle because of overpowering feelings of nervousness, panic and fear over who I might meet or what might happen .

To combat the symptoms I used to ‘self medicate’ to get through social situations. But this just made me feel ten times worse later on.

Eventually my life reached a point where I had a simple choice – continue suffering in silence and simply coping day to day, or do something about it.

So off I went to see my doctor for advice on what I should do.

Unfortunately, as has happened to many people suffering from social anxiety disorder, I was swiftly prescribed a course of beta blockers to help ‘calm me down’.

Suffice to say this wasnt the answer I was looking for – unless you want to feel like a subdued, unemotional robot all day.

So I decided to look for some answers of my own.

Changing the Way You Think WILL Change the Way You Feel

It was while looking into the causes of anxiety that I started finding out about the more specific symptom of social anxiety disorder.

After reading through a number of books on the subject and blogs of other sufferers, I started to discover more about the condition – what causes it and what you can do to overcome it.

I then set about applying what I’d learned to my daily life and making changes to the way I thought about things, how I reacted to situations and making lifestyle changes so I became more active and raised my self esteem.

I wasnt cured overnight. But with practice and patience, the changes I made to how I thought about the people around me and how I reacted to social situations helped me to gradually reduce the fear, nervous thoughts and uncomfortable feelings of social anxiety disorder.

I can still feel anxious from time to time. But my social anxiety disorder is nowhere near the levels it was. It no longer stops me from going where I want to go or doing the things I want to do. And my life has vastly improved as a result.

Rather than being stuck at home, I’m now out living my life, taking part in activities like rock climbing and trekking, and I can even go out and meet friends without worrying what other people are thinking.

I created this website to help others struggling with social anxiety disorder by writing about the strategies and tactics that worked for me in the hope they can help other people as well.

Originally posted 2012-01-05 18:58:44. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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6 Habits to Improve Your Mood and Reduce Your Social Anxiety

It’s believed that, in most cases, social anxiety is driven by mindset, rather than a chemical imbalance. It tends to go hand in hand with negative thinking, and interpreting situations as being much worse than they really are. As such, it’s a good idea to work on improving your mental processes if you want to overcome social anxiety for good.

Abraham Lincoln once said that “most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” So if you are already feeling depressed, settling for feeling down won’t fix the problem. Why not choose to be happy instead? You won’t lose a single thing if you chose to smile.

I know this is easier said than done, but learning how to maintain a happy state of mind is key to being able to overcome social anxiety for good through correcting the negative thoughts that drive it. Cognitive behavioural therapy is one way, and there are many other healthy habits you can adopt that will improve your mood and reduce your social anxiety as a result.

Here are six habits for improving the way you think, feel and behave in social situations:

1. Waking up early

Early risers are generally happier and healthier than those who prefer the night life, this is according to a study by the researchers from the University of Toronto. “Society’s expectations are far more organized around a morning-type person’s schedule.” says Renee Biss, a graduate student research at the University of Toronto.

I always consider myself as an early riser. I love the fresh atmosphere in the morning, I notice that I am more enthusiastic to face the day whenever I wake up early. I accomplish more and everything seems to be easy. I don’t like to rush myself to office or scramble myself to catch a meeting.

2. Daily Exercise

Maintaining a moderate exercise everyday will not only help you sleep better, keep your heart healthy and keep your body in shape but also helps to lighten up your mood the entire day. When you are physically active you will have a sense of accomplishment in attaining your fitness goals and most likely inspired to accomplish more during the day.

According to a study conducted at Penn State, people who are more physically active have also shown greater levels of excitement and enthusiasm than people who are less active physically. “David Conroy, a professor of kinesiology also suggest that it is more effective to set short term goals in exercising to stay motivated, to be able to keep up with the program that they started.

3. Make a habit of Disengaging yourself

Giving yourself a time to regain your strength back after a long day of exhaustion at work is important to be equally happy when you return home at night. There are times that stress gets you and people who are often stressed out during the day have difficulty sleeping at night. It’s because they did not give themselves a time to disengage themselves from their stressors.

The book entitled “The Power of Full Engagement” by Loehr and Schwarz talked about how to disengage yourself periodically and seek renewal to fully achieve happiness and prosperity in life.

4. Help Others

A survey conducted by Do Good Live Well Survey in 2010 has found out that most of those who volunteered have shown a positive impact on their lives. Most of the volunteer feel that their participation made them physically healthier, lowered their stress levels and improved their sense of well-being.

I can speak from my own experience that unbelievable feeling of happiness whenever I participate with the feeding program of my church. It increases my satisfaction for a moment, it gives me a sense of meaning and purpose.

5. Learn new skills

A key to happiness is when you don’t lack enthusiasm to tackle each day with eagerness and excitement. Maintaining that level of enthusiasm is hard, but by learning some new stuff and a new skill perhaps will give you a new goal to fill.

6. Have multiple ways to “WIN” each day

Challenging yourself to achieve your short term goals would give you a complete boost on your ego and would feel accomplished at the end of the day. Of course there are always blunders that would make it more difficult for you. But instead of feeling disappointed and giving up, why not challenge yourself to win them over.

Overcoming social anxiety disorder comes from adopting healthy ways of thinking and making small changes that raise your self esteem.  It can be a long process,but through adopting habits, like those listed above, you can learn how to improve your mood and reduce your social anxiety for good.

N.B. Remember, if social anxiety disorder is adversely affecting your life and making you feel depressed then you should always consult a medical professional, like a doctor or psychologist for professional advice. The severity of social anxiety can vary tremendously between individuals and what helps some people overcome it might not be as effective for others.

Originally posted 2014-10-22 21:48:30. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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Is Agoraphobia the Same as Social Anxiety Disorder?

I remember when my social anxiety was at its peak going outside could seem daunting. The solitude and security of home was far more preferable to running the gauntlet of (perceived) threats and negative stares from going outdoors. But staying insider forever isn’t an option for most people, unless you’re a reclusive millionaire that can hide in their luxury apartment without having to go to work. For this reason, social anxiety can often be confused with agoraphobia, when the two conditions are actually different branches of the anxiety disorders tree.

What is agoraphobia?

As you probably already know, social phobia is a fear of social situations and the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings they can trigger. The most up-to-date research believes this is due to our bodies perceiving threats inaccurately and then triggering our ‘fight or flight’ mode. The result is that our heart rate increases, we become more aware of our surroundings and we feel anxious in anticipation of an imminent threat. It’s also believed that social anxiety disorder commonly develops during childhood, as a result of negative social experiences that cause the formation of an inaccurate belief system on the threat posed by other people.

Agoraphobia, on the other hand, isn’t a fear of people but rather a fear of having a panic attack in an open space without the ability to escape. It can be triggered whenever people with agoraphobia feel as though they are in a situation they can’t control, and no longer feel the security of their home surroundings. Like social anxiety, when sufferers are outside of their comfort zone then their ‘fight of flight’ mode is triggered, leading to a sense of panic, anxiety and fear of perceived threats (which don’t actually exist).

Agoraphobia is believed to develop as a result of genetics, life experiences and individual temperament, which cause people to reach a heightened sense of anxiety and a fear of having a panic attack in public spaces. Unlike social anxiety, people with agoraphobia can function perfectly normally around other people in their own home, where they feel safe. They can chat, laugh and feel relaxed around strangers. It’s only when they step out of the door that their threat impulses kick in and they start to panic and feel afraid.

While the conditions differ, treatment is the same 

Social anxiety and agoraphobia both fall underneath the umbrella term of anxiety disorders. While the triggers are different the symptoms and treatment are the same. Both social phobia and agoraphobia can be treated through changing the subconscious belief system that drives them. Both conditions can have a wide range of severities, and as such the treatment required needs to be tailored for the individual.

As always, the first step is to visit your doctor (or in severe cases they should be able to come to your home) for a diagnosis and professional advice on the best course of action. This could include cognitive behavioural therapy, to address the negative and inaccurate thoughts driving the anxiety disorder, medication to dampen the symptoms and other types of therapy, such as gradual exposure or group therapy.

The key takeaway from this post is that both agoraphobia and social anxiety are treatable conditions. They are both well researched conditions with a diagnosis and a cure. As such, you don’t have to live with them forever. The first step is reaching out and asking for help and then finding the path that will enable you to challenge your inaccurate, uncomfortable thoughts and rewire your brain to attend social events and to go out in public without fear.

Originally posted 2013-05-21 10:45:49. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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