The Advantages of Being Shy if You Suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder

[Image courtesy of andy_c]

If you suffer from shyness then you might daydream about swaggering into a party and captivating an audience with your witty anecdotes and smooth one liners. Whilst being confident and attracting attention has its advantages, you shouldn’t discount the qualities of being someone who holds back a little until you feel comfortable around strangers.

Being shy shouldn’t be something you’re ashamed of. But instead merely an aspect of your multifaceted personality.

If being shy or socially anxious is causing you problems then there are ways of overcoming it. But it’s not something you should think you have to be ‘cured’ of to be happy and attractive to others.

Polite and considerate

Shyness and anxiety are merely your body’s defensive mechanisms for staying alert to potential dangers. Whilst most learn to get used to the situations that made them shy as children, many people continue to feel bouts of anxiety as adults.

Being shy can get in the way when you meet people for the first time, and you just want to relax and be yourself. However, the flip side of the coin is that it also gives you the ability to evaluate situations before jumping straight in.

When you’re feeling shy, you might find yourself planning a route through the minefield of potential social mishaps. Whilst you should learn not to worry so much about exposing your weaknesses (which drives your fear of humiliation), the ability to be mindful of saying or doing the wrong thing can be a good thing.

Your efforts to not tread on anybody’s toes or cause offense means people will think you’re polite and considerate, whereas people who aren’t shy enough can  seem overpowering, pushy and self opinionated.

Being shy means you’re more likely to take the time to assess the appropriate thing is to say or do, rather than blunder into a dinner party, take someone else’s seat and then boast about your pay rise when someone else at the table has recently been fired.

Friendships based on quality rather than quantity

People who are shy are sometimes perceived as having an air of mystery about them, or hidden depths just waiting to be revealed. This can be an attractive quality. And can make people curious enough to try and break down your defensive walls to discover the real you.

The people with whom you form friendships will appreciate the confidence you’ve placed in them by letting your guard down. You in a turn are more likely to be a loyal and considerate friend. As a result the friendships you do form tend to have deeper roots and be longer lasting.

Whilst you might not always dominate the conversation. You’re likely to be an attentive listener and adept at asking the right questions, which is a valued characteristic in any relationship.

Independent, resourceful and thoughtful

Whether you consider yourself to be an introvert, shy or socially anxious, there’s a lot of positive skills you’ll have built up due to your personality type.

Spending a lot of time on your own can make you feel isolated. But it also means you’ve had to be self reliant and independent in pursuing your own interests and priorities. This resourcefulness can enable you to be more adept in looking after yourself, and less reliant on others to help you overcome life’s obstacles.

The anxiety of shyness might also mean you spend a lot of time pondering over situations – what went wrong, how it could have gone better. Once you’ve learnt how to assess life’s episodes objectively, you can learn to divert your thoughtfulness to better use by thinking through events more clearly and planning how you’ll approach them better in the future.

Mental strength

Being shy might (at the moment) be causing you problems in life and making everyday activities difficult, such as being assertive at working, dating or interacting with strangers in the street.

But there’s a proven, goal orientated approach to overcoming social anxiety in the form of cognitive behavioural therapy. CBT teaches you first to accept your shyness and then how to reduce it so it doesn’t inhibit your enjoyment of life.

And the sense of achievement, mental strength and improved ability to cope with life’s demands is perhaps the biggest long-term benefit of all from accepting your anxious feelings and taking steps to overcome them.

Originally posted 2008-06-18 13:52:44. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

from Social Anxiety Disorder Self Help Strategies. Overcome Social Phobia For Good http://ift.tt/TL4JHp
via IFTTT

‘Social Viagra’ anti-social anxiety disorder drug announced

In the news recently a new anti-anxiety drug was announced that uses oxytocin hormones released by mothers when they bond with their newborn babies. The results of trials appear to be encouraging, with 120 patients reported to be relieved of their social anxiety within half an hour.

The report also highlights how millions of people suffer from shyness or social anxiety in the UK. One in ten say it affects their daily lives, with many seeking refuge in drink and illegal drugs to try and alleviate the symptoms.

There have been plenty of false dawns in the promises of drugs that can cure people of their anxiety. However, If ‘social viagra’ proves to be as effective as is being reported then it can certainly help soften the uncomfortable  feelings of anxiety, and make learning how to change the way you think and feel that little bit easier.

I (along with many psychologists and doctors) don’t think that the long-term approach to overcoming social anxiety is in pill form. Cognitive behavioral therapy teaches you how to identify the uncomfortable thoughts that cause your anxiety, realize they’re illogical and then how to adopt more helpful, objective ways of thinking and feeling.

CBT isn’t a magic bullet (unlike the promises made by many drug companies). But it has clinically proven to be effective for thousands of people who have struggled with anxiety, depression or both.

On a brighter note, it’s fascinating to think that an anti-anxiety drug could be used to make people more generous, to create a soothing atmosphere in restauarants or to replace tear gas for riot control.

Originally posted 2008-06-23 14:06:33. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

from Social Anxiety Disorder Self Help Strategies. Overcome Social Phobia For Good http://ift.tt/1fJuRtM
via IFTTT

Feeling Depressed? Stop Suffering in Silence and Talk About it With Someone

image credit: *clairity* with Creative Commons License

Following the recent suicide of the award winning comedian actor Robin Williams, UK rap star Professor Green recounted the events of how his own father took the same dark path as Williams. Professor Green’s story is about his father’s death is heartbreaking but at the same time raises awareness on the need to start a wider discussion about depression and reaching out for help. The British rapper, whose real name is Stephen Manderson, expresses his regret of not having to say his final goodbye and tell his father the things that mattersed. He further discusses how he suffers with his own depression and urges everyone to be open about it.

If we take a look at a recent statistics in Britain alone, suicide is the biggest killer of men between 20 and 49, which is more than cancer, road accidents and heart disease. Even though women are more likely to suffer from depression but they actually are more open to seek help when they feel they are feeling low and depressed. Men on the other hand find it hard to express themselves and tend to keep all their troubling thoughts inside. It is sad to say that most men have been brought up to believe that showing emotion could be a sign of weakness and not how a man should behave. They control their emotions to show their mental strength as since childhood they’ve been told to “suck it up like a real man”.

Speaking about personal problems is healthier than bottling them inside

I think men are as emotional as women. A real man doesn’t have to fake that he is hurting inside. If you are suffering from depression caused by social anxiety or feeling stressed out about work, family and relationships, it’s always healthier to express yourself with your friends and to those whom you trust.

You can ask for a professional help if you are afraid to be judged by your close friends. There are other forums and organizations that can provide you with support and advice, such as:

http://ift.tt/1nCfmcg

http://ift.tt/1sqgqhz

http://ift.tt/1sqgo9o

Suicide has been regarded as a sign of moral and mental weakness. But in order to overcome this weakness, you have to be strong enough to express yourself and stop suffering in silence. Remember – if social anxiety or depression is adversely affecting your life you should always get professional advice from a doctor, GP or psychological therapist.

 

Originally posted 2014-08-25 19:33:30. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

from Social Anxiety Disorder Self Help Strategies. Overcome Social Phobia For Good http://ift.tt/1BVCG9B
via IFTTT