Coping with Criticism if You Suffer from Socially Anxiety Disorder

Social anxiety disorder is rooted in the chronic fear of being negatively judged or insulted. If you’re suffering from the low self esteem that partners social phobia then criticism always seems spiteful and upsetting because it triggers your self punishing, painful thoughts.

However, there shouldn’t be any reason for you to live in chronic fear of barbed comments if you can teach yourself how to respond objectively, and even be able to disarm insults like a master swordsman when they occur.

The isolation brought upon by social anxiety is normally partnered by depression and low self esteem. When you’re feeling rotten and worthless your thought patterns and emotions are shrouded in gloom by the black clouds that follow you around. This means that whenever anybody says anything degrading you’re likely to exaggerate its significance, take it to heart and incorrectly think it means you’re a worthless person.

How cognitive behavioural therapy can help

Thinking negatively and exaggerating the significance of the things people say is a thinking error brought upon by your depression, which prevents you from interpreting what people say in a realistic, objective manner.

Cognitive behavioural therapy teaches you how to identify the negative beliefs and thinking errors that make you get upset whenever you’re criticised. You can then learn to recognise unhelpful thinking errors when they occur and replace them with more positive, realistic thoughts.

This obviously sounds a lot easier said than done, and it can take many months to start changing the way you automatically think and feel. However, it has been clinically proven that it can be done, and CBT provides you with a goal orientated framework for overcoming your social anxiety a step at a time.

Once you’re able to assess the things people say more objectively you’ll then be able to apply a more logical approach to criticism and not take it so personally.

Learn how to interpret comments objectively

If there is an element of truth to someone’s comments then you should use it as an opportunity to learn about your mistakes and how you can correct your behaviour. You’re only human after all and will always make mistakes from time to time. And because you’re human you also constantly developing, so criticism can sometimes give you a few pointers to show you how to grow as a person.

On the other hand, if after assessing criticism objectively you think somebody is just being rude or insulting then their comments shouldn’t have the power to upset you. Why should you feel hurt or devalued because of somebody else’s mistake in judgement?

Remember that it’s not the things people say that can make you feel upset – it’s how you interpret them.

How to handle insults

In Dr David D. Burns’ ‘Feeling Good’ (a global bestseller which has shifted over three million copies) he teaches an ’empathy and disarming’ technique for responding to insults without hurling them back or running home to hide under your bed covers.

Firstly, you have to emphasise with your attacker – objectively assess why they are attacking you. What is the basis for their barbed comments?

By listening and asking for clarification on why they are being insulting, you can calm them down by letting them know that you are listening and can prevent the situation escalating into full scale warfare.

Using empathy is an opportunity to understand if there is any basis to the insults, or if the attacker is just being offensive.

The next stage is to use the ‘disarming technique’ to defuse the situation without losing your temper or losing face. Simply find a way to agree with an aspect of what your attacker is saying, whether you believe it or not, and that way you can disarm their barbed thrusts with the skill of musketeer:

Attacker: ‘You’re a loser.”

You: “Well, I certainly make mistakes sometimes and I’m not the greatest sportsman. There’s certainly areas in which I could improve, but doesn’t everybody.”

Attacker: “You’re a skinny, stupid waster with nothing to offer anybody.”

You: “Yes I could certainly do with putting on some weight, I’m not going to be the world’s next Einstein and I could certainly apply myself better. But I have skills in other areas, just as everybody does, and I have lots to offer the people around me.”

By agreeing, if only partially, with their line of attack you simply take the air out of their sails and divert them from the collision course you’d be heading for if you were to fight fire with fire.

You feel the way that you think, so learn to change your negative thoughts

Being able to identify your positive attributes, rather than kick yourself over your weaknesses, is another skill taught by cognitive behavioural therapy, and is useful in being able to respond objectively to criticism and not take what people say to heart.

The key is to be able to react based on facts, rather than let disagreements deteriorate into name calling or a humiliating retreat.

With practice in learning how to respond in a more realistic, objective manner, you’ll find that the risk of criticism will no longer seem so terrifying, and your social anxiety will recede as a result.

Photo courtesy of Nika

Originally posted 2008-04-21 15:23:28. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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How Can I Do a Test for Social Anxiety Disorder?

Over the last few decades recognition of social anxiety disorder has grown rapidly. No longer is it seen as just a case of someone being over sensitive, too shy or introverted, but a recognised and diagnosable condition. But as with all anxiety disorders, it can be difficult to test for social phobia without clear guidance from a doctor or a psychiatrist.

It’s not like having a fever, when you can just check someone’s temperature or their physical symptoms. What’s more, social anxiety disorder can be a complex condition, with symptoms that can very in severity dramatically between individuals. Some people might just prefer to avoid going to parties and speaking in front of people they don’t know, while others might struggle to leave their house altogether due to the fear of negative stares.

Thankfully, a social anxiety disorder test was devised by Dr Michael R. Liebowitz, a psychiatrist and researcher at Columbia University, New York. First devised in 1987, his social anxiety disorder test continues to be the most widely used and recognised method of diagnosing the condition. Studies have shown it to be an efficient and cost effective way for people to test for social anxiety disorder so they can then progress towards beginning a process of treating the inaccurate, underlying thoughts that drive it.

What is the social anxiety disorder test?

The Liebowitz Social Anxiety Disorder Test consists of 24 questions designed to assess the scale at which social phobia affects your life based on an overall score of its severity. Thirteen of the questions focus on performance related anxiety, such as speaking on a phone in public or talking to someone in authority, while eleven deal with social situations, such as going to a party or speaking in a meeting.

After completing all the questions you are then given a score out of 144. If your score is high, and you are classified in the more severe categories, the important thing is to not feel down and depressed. The fact is that, as with all diagnosable conditions, social anxiety disorder can be treated.

With a diagnosis comes treatment

If you think you might be suffering from social anxiety disorder, the wisest thing to do is to visit a medical professional, whether it’s a doctor or a psychotherapist. They can give you a professional diagnosis along with advice on the best course of action to reduce your symptoms to the level where social anxiety disorder no longer gets in the way of living a fulfilling life.

If your social anxiety is fairly mild, it could be that all you may need to do is to start making some lifestyle changes, such as taking up new hobbies that give you a sense of achievement and boost your esteem as well as provide you with healthier interactions with other people. In more severe cases, where social anxiety disorder is causing you to feel depressed and is adversely affecting your life, then seeing a cognitive behavioural therapist along with a course of medication might be advisable.

So it’s wise to consult a medical professional, whether it’s a doctor or a psychiatrist, for a diagnosis and advice if your anxious thoughts and feelings are getting in the way of your ability to enjoy a happy, fulfilling life.

Originally posted 2013-06-04 14:19:53. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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Stanford Study finds the ‘Fear Center’ in Children that May Contribute to Social Anxiety as they Grow Up

Living in fear and excessive self consciousness is no way to live. Especially if you are just a kid. It’s hard to go through life and achieve your dreams if you were always anxious and calculated in every decision you make. Children are like delicate flowers that can easily be swayed and blown away by the force of nature. They tend to grow into their fears and not outgrow out of them.

Anxiety is a common mental health problem affecting many children and adolescents today. But the good thing is, it is a treatable condition. A new study from the Researchers at Stanford University School of Medicine says that kids with anxieties, like social anxiety, have larger amygdale or what’s better known as “fear center” – a set of neurons located deeply in the brain’s medial temporal lobe. They have conducted the research involving 76 children among the ages of seven and nine years old, a period where the researchers can accurately identify the anxiety levels of the children.

But some agencies and organizations are skeptical about the cause and effect of the new study. However, this is good news for parents who have children who suffer from excessive fears and anxiety. The study may be a breakthrough for identifying in advance social anxiety disorder risks for children.

I for one have my own fair share of anxieties as a kid. I know people who have dealt with social anxieties growing up and most of them were saying that if only they have open up more to their parents as a child. They could have spared the burden of what social anxiety have cost their lives all throughout adolescence and adulthood. As parents, we should be the one responsible in giving our children the quality of life they deserve. We should be in more careful watch of our children’s behavior and how they respond to those around them. Identifying the symptoms of anxiety as early as possible and finding effective treatments is always the best way to give your children a full and happy life.

Originally posted 2014-07-10 22:02:44. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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