The Advantages of Being Shy if You Suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder

[Image courtesy of andy_c]

If you suffer from shyness then you might daydream about swaggering into a party and captivating an audience with your witty anecdotes and smooth one liners. Whilst being confident and attracting attention has its advantages, you shouldn’t discount the qualities of being someone who holds back a little until you feel comfortable around strangers.

Being shy shouldn’t be something you’re ashamed of. But instead merely an aspect of your multifaceted personality.

If being shy or socially anxious is causing you problems then there are ways of overcoming it. But it’s not something you should think you have to be ‘cured’ of to be happy and attractive to others.

Polite and considerate

Shyness and anxiety are merely your body’s defensive mechanisms for staying alert to potential dangers. Whilst most learn to get used to the situations that made them shy as children, many people continue to feel bouts of anxiety as adults.

Being shy can get in the way when you meet people for the first time, and you just want to relax and be yourself. However, the flip side of the coin is that it also gives you the ability to evaluate situations before jumping straight in.

When you’re feeling shy, you might find yourself planning a route through the minefield of potential social mishaps. Whilst you should learn not to worry so much about exposing your weaknesses (which drives your fear of humiliation), the ability to be mindful of saying or doing the wrong thing can be a good thing.

Your efforts to not tread on anybody’s toes or cause offense means people will think you’re polite and considerate, whereas people who aren’t shy enough can  seem overpowering, pushy and self opinionated.

Being shy means you’re more likely to take the time to assess the appropriate thing is to say or do, rather than blunder into a dinner party, take someone else’s seat and then boast about your pay rise when someone else at the table has recently been fired.

Friendships based on quality rather than quantity

People who are shy are sometimes perceived as having an air of mystery about them, or hidden depths just waiting to be revealed. This can be an attractive quality. And can make people curious enough to try and break down your defensive walls to discover the real you.

The people with whom you form friendships will appreciate the confidence you’ve placed in them by letting your guard down. You in a turn are more likely to be a loyal and considerate friend. As a result the friendships you do form tend to have deeper roots and be longer lasting.

Whilst you might not always dominate the conversation. You’re likely to be an attentive listener and adept at asking the right questions, which is a valued characteristic in any relationship.

Independent, resourceful and thoughtful

Whether you consider yourself to be an introvert, shy or socially anxious, there’s a lot of positive skills you’ll have built up due to your personality type.

Spending a lot of time on your own can make you feel isolated. But it also means you’ve had to be self reliant and independent in pursuing your own interests and priorities. This resourcefulness can enable you to be more adept in looking after yourself, and less reliant on others to help you overcome life’s obstacles.

The anxiety of shyness might also mean you spend a lot of time pondering over situations – what went wrong, how it could have gone better. Once you’ve learnt how to assess life’s episodes objectively, you can learn to divert your thoughtfulness to better use by thinking through events more clearly and planning how you’ll approach them better in the future.

Mental strength

Being shy might (at the moment) be causing you problems in life and making everyday activities difficult, such as being assertive at working, dating or interacting with strangers in the street.

But there’s a proven, goal orientated approach to overcoming social anxiety in the form of cognitive behavioural therapy. CBT teaches you first to accept your shyness and then how to reduce it so it doesn’t inhibit your enjoyment of life.

And the sense of achievement, mental strength and improved ability to cope with life’s demands is perhaps the biggest long-term benefit of all from accepting your anxious feelings and taking steps to overcome them.

Originally posted 2008-06-18 13:52:44. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

from Social Anxiety Disorder Self Help Strategies. Overcome Social Phobia For Good http://ift.tt/TL4JHp
via IFTTT

Overcoming Social Anxiety Tips – 7 Ways to Say ‘No!’ to Negativity

Social anxiety can be a difficult chain to break out of. While direct causes can vary, typically it’s a negative way of thinking that can cause the sense of low self-esteem and lack of self confidence that drives it.

It was not so long ago that I realized how negativity hinders my own self-growth. I became so insecure, I even questioned my purpose; I was afraid to set goals because I was afraid to fail, and thus I lacked direction in life.

This was until I realized I need to do something to get my life back on track. I began to focus only on good ways of thinking and behaving to attract positive responses. I cleaned up my negative thoughts and instead instilled positive vibes towards myself. It was hard at first, but gradually I noticed the difference within myself. I learned that social anxiety, and life in general, becomes easier to live with if you shift your attitude into a positive light and make a habit of saying “No!” to negativity.

The following are some negativity reducing tips that will help you discard those negative feelings and thoughts that can drive social phobia, which will eventually lead to a fuller and brighter life ahead of you.

1. Set rational goals

They always say that “If you want to dream, dream big and if your dream does not scare you maybe it is not big enough”. There is nothing wrong with dreaming big, but sometimes it is impossible to attain larger than life goals when the intimidate you. You have to break them down to pieces and set up some strategies on how to move up the ladder little by little. That way you will be more motivated to continue reaching your goal once you have found the satisfaction by attaining the smaller goals first.

2. Turn problems into challenges

As what Arizona-based entrepreneur mentor Ali Brown said “Motion beats meditation.” Sometimes we get overwhelmed at the problem at hand and would question our ability to perform the task. When it comes to a point like this, it is better to view any obstacles as a challenge, like a game that you need to win over.

Self limitation is the main reason why most of us fail to meet our goals in life. It is useless to rehash inspiring quotes and post motivational words on your social media accounts when you yourself are even afraid to take a leap of faith.

3. Reset your default answer

I remember the movie “Yes, Man” where a character named Carl Allen played by Jim Carrey goes to a motivational “Yes!” seminar and made a covenant to stop being a “No Man” and vows to answer “Yes!” to every opportunity, request or invitation that presents itself thereafter.

It made me realize a lot of things and had me thinking, what if I adapt the same attitude? I was astounded on what I discovered. It made me more optimistic, confident, self assured, friendly and sociable. Stop saying “No” every time, instead you can default to “I’m not sure; give me a minute,” suggested by Lynette Louise, a neurofeedback therapist. This will help you think of it a bit longer and find a good reason to say yes before you say no.

4. Display that award

Surround yourself of physical reminders of positivity, it may come as proof of your past achievements, like trophies, certificates of recognition, your university diploma, photos of your family and loved ones.

5. Put your hands up!

According to a study conducted in 2012, between people who do “Power Poses” (e.g. leaning back in a chair with hands behind head) vs people who do low-power poses (e.g. standing with arms hugging chest and ankles crossed) tend to be more confident. This is believed to be because power poses boost confidence and can increase testosterone level than the lower-pose. This study is also used as a reference when athletes lose their confidence, which is why yoga coach Dana Santas always instructs athletes to hold the “mountain Pose with Arms Up”.

6. Detox from bad news.

I sometimes wonder why the evening news is full of negative headlines. I personally do not encounter that many bad things in my everyday waking life. Colene Eridge, a life coach in Lexington, Ky. suggests taking a break from the negativity that you encounter in daily life, whether it’s from those gruesome evening headlines or your whining neighbor. It doesn’t mean that you are avoiding them, it’s just making a choice of encouraging positive vibes and discarding the negative ones.

7. Wake up on the right side of the bed.

Ask yourself three “morning questions” when you wake that will let you focus on the day ahead and clear your head all of the negative thoughts the night before.

Try asking yourself these questions:

• What am I excited about doing today?
• Who can I encourage or serve today? (Get the focus off yourself)
• What am I grateful for?

Just think about all the things that make you excited by just visualizing them. You will be surprise how this simple exercise can change your perspective for the entire day.

Negative thinking clouds your thoughts and makes situations seem a lot worse than they are, which is a classic cause/symptom of social anxiety disorder. So try following these 7 tips in your daily life to see if they can help reduce your social phobia for good.

Originally posted 2014-11-03 20:03:09. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

from Social Anxiety Disorder Self Help Strategies. Overcome Social Phobia For Good http://ift.tt/1tA5LEA
via IFTTT

Could Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Have Helped Kurt Cobain Overcome Social Anxiety Disorder?

Yesterday I watched the biopic ‘About a Son’ in which Kurt Cobain discusses his childhood, music career and views on life. An edited version of 25 hours of interview tapes recorded a year before he committed suicide, the film offers some insight into the negative thought patterns that seemed to be driving Kurt towards taking his own life.

From the film  I got the impression that Kurt exhibited many of the characteristics and symptoms of someone who suffers from social anxiety disorder.

Unhappy childhood

His childhood was blighted by an unaffectionate parent and problems at school from feeling isolated and bullied by the other kids. He comments how he used to feel constantly paranoid and threatened by other people, and even had thoughts of violence because of it.

If you suffer from a lack of affection, a difficulty to connect with other people and social awkwardness then this can lead to an irrational fear, distrust or hatred of other people in adult life. And it’s believed by psychotherapists that the underlying thought processes which lead to social anxiety disorder are formed by unhappy childhood experiences.

Kurt was known to be a recluse, withdrawn and rarely engaged with other people if he could avoid it, typical symptoms of someone who suffered from social phobia.

Kurt’s answer to his troubling thoughts and his chronic stomach pains was to self medicate with opiates and heroin, which would have offered temporary escape but exasperated his problems in the long run.

A life without hope?

Nobody really knows what drove someone who was wealthy, successful and had a baby girl to feel that life was so futile that suicide was the only escape from their misery. But it’s likely that it was his inability to overcome his troubling thought patterns that made his life seem so intolerable.

Now I’m not an expert on Kurt Cobain and haven’t read any of the books on his life, but from my perspective it seems that he could have benefited from cognitive behavioural therapy.

Social phobia and other social anxiety disorders are driven by irrational, negative thought patterns. If Kurt could have been helped to understand how it was the unhelpful childhood experiences driving his subconscious hatred of people and gloomy outlook on life then maybe he could have been directed onto another path.

You feel the way that you think

The way our brains respond to the world around us is a complex puzzle which psychologists and therapists are still making sense of.

But if the brain has been programmed to think in an unhelpful way because of a troubling childhood then, with practice and patience, it can be reprogrammed to think in a more, realistic and helpful manner.

Perhaps if Kurt had learned to challenge his negative thoughts and to replace them with more objective ways of thinking then he might still be with us today, and writing more optimistic songs filled with life and hope because of it.

Image courtesy of Buzzworthy

Originally posted 2008-12-08 17:14:02. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

from Social Anxiety Disorder Self Help Strategies. Overcome Social Phobia For Good http://ift.tt/1l9iZFL
via IFTTT

8 Reasons Why Exercise Helps to Reduce Social Anxiety Disorder

We’re told all the time about the benefits of being active. Working out makes you fit, builds muscle and helps you maintain a healthy lifestyle. There have been countless studies on the advantages of exercise and what it can do for your body. In fact, many clinical psychologists use exercise as a key part of their treatment for depression, general anxiety and the more specific social anxiety disorder.

This is because research has proven that exercising on a regular basis may boost a depressed person’s outlook and thought processes by helping them adopt a meaningful activity that provides a sense of accomplishment. It can provide you with something worthwhile in your life and help raise your self worth as well as improve your self confidence. Better yet, it gives you a new perspective on how to approach your problems in a goal driven manner.

If you’re not already convinced of the benefits of exercise for overcoming social anxiety disorder, here are 8 reasons why exercise can make you feel better and reduce your social phobia as a result:

1. Reduce Stress

Perhaps the most common mental benefit of exercise is stress relief. If you are having a rough day, at home or in your office, then taking time out to exercise can work wonders. Whether you’re up to working out at the gym or would prefer to stroll through a quiet park, taking a break to exercise can help free your mind from the daily chaos of busy life. It’s believed that exercise increases norepinephrine, which is a chemical that can help the brain deal with stress more efficiently and focus better.

2. Boost Happy Chemicals

In severe cases, social anxiety disorder may be treated with antidepressant medication. However, some cases studies have shown that working out may be just as effective as antidepressant medication. A certain chemical called “dopamine” plays a huge role as a neurotransmitter in the brain that is required for feelings of pleasure and happiness, and the best way to increase dopamine production is to exercise.

3. Improve Self-Confidence

Having low self esteem will have a negative effect on all areas of our life. Your relationships are at risk as well as your career and your life aspirations. Working out helps you to feel better physically and mentally, and to develop the positive attitude and emotional stamina needed to take on personal goals and overcome the negative thoughts that drive social anxiety disorder.

4. Enjoy the Great Outdoors

If you don’t fancy going to a gym, then you can exercise in the great outdoors.  Instead of running on your treadmill, why not run a few laps around your neighborhood or go to the nearest park where you get to enjoy the scenery, get fresh air, notice the changing seasons, weather and enjoy nature. Getting much exposure outside under the sun has lots of benefits like Vitamin D that can lighten your mood and  reduce social anxiety disorder symptoms. Aside from that, studies suggest that you can burn more calories when you exercise outdoors.

5. Prevent Cognitive Decline

Age is one of the factors why we go through a cognitive decline. Our brains will gradually become less precise and cloudy over time. Diseases like Alzheimer’s are becoming worryingly more common in old age, where you lose primary brain functions like memory. Exercise can help avoid  cognitive decline out might help in preventing  to prevent the risk of developing Alzheimer’s as we aged. Exercise paired with a balance diet helps improve memory and keeps your thinking, reasoning and learning skills sharp.

6. Alleviate Feelings of Social Anxiety

When you work out or jog for just a few minutes, warm and fuzzy chemicals called endorphine are released during and after your workout which can help you to think in a calmer, more positive manner that naturally helps to reduce the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings of social anxiety disorder.

7. Get More Done

According to some research, people who manage to include workout as their daily habit are more productive and enthusiastic than their inactive peers. No matter how busy your schedule gets, always take time to exercise whether it’s first thing in the morning, in your lunch break or after work to stay more focused on a daily basis.

8. Form New Friendships

Finding a workout buddy is a good way to push yourself when training and to form a new friendship. As well as helping to motivate you when you feel too lazy to exercise, having a workout buddy gives you an opportunity to socialize without being under pressure to be entertaining, to have something interesting to say or any of the other false pressures you might put on yourself if you suffer from social anxiety disorder.

From my own personal experience, I can tell you that regular exercise was one of the key components of my strategy for overcoming social anxiety. The combination of setting yourself new goals, the sense of satisfaction from seeing the improvements in my health and the regular boost of endorphines was crucial in boosting my self esteem and reducing my anxiety of social situations.

So I highly recommend that you dig out some trainers or look up some fitness routines on YouTube and improving your health while reducing your social anxiety at the same time.

Originally posted 2014-10-12 18:08:16. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

from Social Anxiety Disorder Self Help Strategies. Overcome Social Phobia For Good http://ift.tt/1C9WnYF
via IFTTT